Wednesday, September 2, 2015

Wednesday

(I'm not sure if I believe in the death penalty.)

Yesterday, I prepared fried duck for both my sons.  The meat was smothered in hot sauce.  The kids ate every last morsel.  They couldn't stop raving about my talent.  I'm a real Betty Crocker.  I washed the vittles down with two bottles of Jinro soju.  Soju's dirt cheap and gets the job done.

I watched an episode of Mad Men.  I'm currently on season four.  The agency loses the Lucky Strike account, and this leads to more clients jumping ship.  So Don gets his girlfriend to break the law.  She's currently giving him inside information to get more business.  Mad Men is a great show. I love the program.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  No big surprise.  I'm not some filthy nihilist.  I asked Jesus to make the Dragon Lady whole again.  I hate being single.  I need someone to cook and do my laundry.  Plus it's important for children to enjoy a strong family unit.  Divorce sucks. I just hope that her meds can control all that rage.

I went to bed at 10 p.m.  I didn't dream.  I woke up at 6 a.m. and turned on my laptop.  Missouri executed one of its death-row inmates.  The man in question raped and killed a fifteen-year-old girl.  Then he dumped her body in the trunk of a stolen car.  I'm not sure where I stand on capital punishment.  Some days, I'm for it.  Other times, I'm against it.  I go back and forth.

I read the paper later in the day.  A Korean man was arrested for dragging his dog behind his car for a distance of one kilometer.  He was punishing the poor little beast for running away.  Most Koreans have little regard for animals.  They still cook puppies for their evening meal.  No kidding.

Anyway, it's time for the song du jour.  Here's Had a Dream by Roger Hodgson.  God bless.

Monday, August 31, 2015

Sunday

(Hannibal comes to a glorious end.)

Yesterday, I took my boy to McDonald's for dinner. We both enjoyed Big Macs and French fries.  We washed our vittles down with two large glasses of Coca-cola.  The experience was heavenly. I'm a huge fan of junk food.  All that sugar sends me straight to the moon.

I watched the finale of Hannibal.  It is absolutely brilliant. Hannibal and Will lead Francis to his doom.  The two men butcher the Tooth Fairy as if they were dispatching a hog.  Will cuts his stomach open with a knife while Hannibal disables the serial killer with a hatchet to his legs.  For the coup de gras, they slit his throat from ear to ear. Then the two men hug each other like a couple of homosexuals. After that, they jump from a cliff to their doom.  It has to be one of the greatest endings in the history of television.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  No big surprise.  I'm not some filthy pagan.  I hold little hope that my wife's new meds will lead to some magical cure. This journey's going to be quite arduous. So I asked Jesus for more patience.  I'm dying here.

I went to bed at 10 p.m.  I didn't dream.  I woke up at 6 a.m. and turned on my laptop.  A woman in Arizona drowned both of her sons.  They were twins.  The poor children were only two-years-old.  If I were king of the world, I'd burn this witch alive at the stake.  But nobody listens to me--which is a good thing.  I'm usually full of shit.

I read the paper later in the day.  A man was arrested in Seoul for beating his ex-girlfriend's lover over the head with a baseball bat. His friends joined in for fun.  The assault was so severe that it took the victim five months to completely recover.  Those criminals should be fed to the lions.

Anyway, it's time for the song du jour.  Here's Rusty Cage by Johnny Cash.  God bless.

Sunday, August 30, 2015

Sunday

(Bellator isn't as fun as the UFC.)

Yesterday, I prepared fried chicken for dinner.  It's not my specialty. Sometimes, the meat comes out all pinkish.  But I did a good job for a change. The meal was perfection.  My son raved about the flavor.  I washed the vittles down with two bottles of Jinro soju. I got pretty shitfaced.

I watched Bellator MMA.  Bellator isn't nearly as good as the UFC. Nevertheless, the organization does occasionally put together a good fight card.  A blond-headed guy with a beard beat the shit out a wrestler from Ohio.  Blondie devoted the bout to the Pygmies suffering in Chad.  He calls them his family.  Trust me.  Being a Pygmy in Chad sucks royal ass.  Those people suffer terribly at the hands of their oppressors.  The guy definitely has my respect.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  No big surprise.  I'm not some dirty nihilist.  My life is slowly returning to a new normal.  And I'm doing my best to savor each day given to me.  I'm almost fifty.  I don't have many years left. Might as well enjoy them while I can.

I went to bed at 11 p.m.  I had a strange dream.  A dentist told me that he needed to take out a rotten tooth.  He showed me the needle he wished to use in order to deaden the pain.  I told him to go ahead and get it over with.  But he just kept talking and talking and talking.

I woke up at 8 a.m. and turned on my laptop.  A woman in New York killed her new born baby girl.  Then she slept with the corpse for over three months.  A neighbor saw the body while visiting and called the police.  The cops on the scene were pretty shaken up. They've been offered psychiatric help.  If I were king of the world, I would burn this woman alive at the stake.  But what do I know?

I read the paper later in the day.  A Korean man was sentenced to die for murdering his girlfriend's parents with a knife.  When the poor woman returned home, he raped her.  She jumped out of her apartment window in order to end her misery.  Now she's permanently injured from the fall.  Capital punishment on the peninsula is purely symbolic.  The state hasn't greased anybody since 1998.

Anyway, it's time for the song du jour.  Here's I Talk to the Wind by King Crimson.  God bless.

Saturday, August 29, 2015

Saturday

(Curt Schilling gets punished for telling the truth.)

Yesterday, I took my eldest son to a restaurant.  We ate fifteen dollars worth of fried chicken.  The poor kid hates dining with me.  He says I take too long.  I washed the vittles down with a pitcher of Cass beer.  Cass is my favorite brand.  Beer rocks.  It's my favorite drink in the world.

I saw the Dragon Lady.  She stopped by to get some money for the credit card bill.  We talked for ten minutes.  The medicine seems to be working.  That crazy look in her eyes is completely gone.  Plus she didn't verbally abuse me with obscene language.  You could have knocked me over with a feather.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  No big surprise.  I'm not some filthy misanthrope.  I thanked Jesus for liberating me from the matrix.  I no longer feel as if I'm part of the rat-race.  I have no interest in making millions.  Nor do I wish to compete against the Joneses.  I feel quite comfortable in my own skin.

I went to bed at 11 p.m.  I didn't dream.  I woke up at 11 a.m. and turned on my laptop.  Curt Schilling is being punished by ESPN for badmouthing Islam.  He compared Muslim extremists to Nazis in an ill-advised Tweet.  But the poor guy's telling the truth.  Those crazy rag-heads will be the death of us all.  Why punish the man for being honest?  America's becoming too politically correct.

I read the paper later in the day.  Five-hundred pimps were arrested for organizing an overseas prostitution ring.  The flesh industry's huge in Korea. It's estimated that one percent of the female population actually work as hookers.  On top of that, Korean men are notorious for their vacations to Southeast Asia.  They certainly aren't ashamed to purchase their jollies.

Anyway, it's time for the song du jour.  Here's Shine On You Crazy Diamond by Pink Floyd.  God bless.

Wednesday, August 26, 2015

Wednesday

(Ted Cruz is courting the evangelical vote.)

Yesterday, I prepared pork and French fries for dinner.  The fries were made from scratch.  The meal was delicious.  My eldest son ate every morsel on his plate.  I washed the vittles down with a bottle of Jinro soju.  Soju's disgusting.  But it's cheap and gets the job done.

I watched Fear the Walking Dead.  The show starts with a junkie waking up from a heroin binge.  He's in a creepy old church.  The ground's covered with human blood and body parts.  He catches his girlfriend chewing the face off a corpse.  There's a butcher knife hanging out her chest.  Cool stuff.  Zombies are like bacon. They make everything better.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  No big surprise.  I'm not some dirty pagan.  I asked Jesus to bring peace to my life.  Living with the Dragon Lady all these years has given me post-traumatic stress syndrome.  No shit. I'm a bundle of nerves.  Maybe I should become a crackhead. Would that help?  I don't know.

I went to bed.  I had a strange dream about my favorite author Kurt Vonnegut.  He caught deadly pneumonia after falling off a ladder. Kurt was in his eighties.  Old men can't handle accidents.  Anyway, he appeared to me in a vision.  I asked him if he wrote The Gulag Archipelago.  He simply laughed and walked away.  I felt empty.

I woke up at 6 a.m. and turned on my laptop.  Ted Cruz has decided to kiss evangelical ass.  It's a smart play.  Ted's against abortion, gay marriage, and funding Planned Parenthood.  So am I...although I often give the fags, lesbos, and lady-boys a pass. Lots of evangelicals side with Cruz on these issues.  And we account for 25 percent of the republican base.

I read the paper later in the day.  The UFC's coming to Seoul in November.  I'd love to go, but I'm a broke dead dick.  The fight card's wonderful. It'll be a first-class event.  Sadly, I won't be there. But I'm more of a home-body anyway.  So are my children.

Anyway, it's time for the song du jour.  Here's Whip It Good by Devo.  God bless.

Monday, August 24, 2015

Monday

(Abortion sucks.)

Yesterday, I prepared pork and French fries for dinner.  I made the fries from scratch.  The meal was delicious.  My son and I ate every last morsel.  I washed the vittles down with several glasses of generic cola.  I'm a broke dead dick.  Therefore, I can't afford the good stuff.

I watched an episode of Zoo.  It has to be one of the stupidest shows on television.  Nevertheless, I'm starved for entertainment.  Bats are invading Brazil, and the team is kidnapped by drug lords. Luckily, they avert disaster by making a machine which produces a high-pitch frequency.  The bats--tortured by the noise--fly away consumed with fear.  Meanwhile, a woman in Paris is mauled by a naughty bear.  You get the idea.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  No big surprise.  I'm not some filthy nihilist.  I asked Jesus to save the Dragon Lady from lunacy.  She's currently taking a lot of dope.  I hope those meds are powerful.  My final option is elephant tranquilizer.  So this could be the last hope for my family.  Strangely enough, I remain optimistic.  Perhaps I'm a retard.

I went to bed at 11 p.m.  I didn't dream.  I woke up at 6 a.m. and turned on my laptop.  Good news.  The state of Ohio will stop murdering fetuses afflicted with Downs Syndrome.  I'm fully on board with the nutty right-wing regarding this issue.  Killing a child because of his IQ is murder.  I'm not bright, either.  But that doesn't give society the right to put a bullet in my head.

I read the paper later in the day.  Many Korean women are dating younger men.  This kind of relationship was frowned upon not too long ago.  The peninsula used to be quite hotbed of conservatism.  However, it gets more liberal by the moment.  Homosexuals are out of the closet and the females are turning into hot-to-trot cougars.  I long for simpler days.

Anyway, it's time for the song du jour.  Here's Lady Marmalade by Christina Aguilera.  God bless.

Sunday, August 23, 2015

Sunday

(Jared Fogle is going to jail.)

Yesterday, I prepared bacon and eggs for dinner.  I bought the bacon at Emart.  It cooked up all thick and crispy and delicious.  I also fried some rice using large amounts of salt and grease.  The meal was delicious.  I washed the vittles down with a large bottle of Cass beer.  Cass is my favorite brand.

I watched the latest episode of Hannibal.  Dr. Lecter is still rotting away in a mental hospital.  His books and toilet have been taken away due to his general naughtiness.  Meanwhile, Francis captures Dr. Frederick Chilton.  He shows Chilton what it means to become The Great Red Dragon.  Then he bites off the psychiatrist's lips and tongue, and sets him on fire. I'm going to miss Hannibal.  It's a wonderful show.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  No big surprise.  I'm not some dirty pagan.  I thanked Jesus for making my eldest son mentally strong.  He realizes that his mother has been acting like a loon for the past couple of years.  Consequently, he doesn't internalize her abuse.  I hope my wife's meds will bring her back down to earth.

I went to bed at 10 p.m.  I didn't dream.  I woke up at 11 a.m. and turned on my lap top.  Do you remember Jared Fogle?  He used to help Subway sell their shitty sandwiches.  Anyway, Mr. Fogle got busted for having sex with minors.  On top of that, the police found child pornography on his computer.  So he'll be spending the next twelve years in a federal prison.  Jared's quite the dirty bird.  He looks so normal.

I read the paper later in the day.  Sex crimes on the Korean subway system are on the rise.  Approximately six cases are reported each day.  Most of the incidents seem to revolve around groping. People are cramped together like sardines, and the occasional pervert likes to cop a cheap feel from the female passengers.

Anyway, it's time for the song du jour.  Here's You May Be Right by Billy Joel.  God bless.