Wednesday, June 29, 2016

Islam Strikes Again

(The religion of peace strikes again.)

Yesterday, I took my family to Burger King. I had a Whopper and a large order of fries. I also ordered some onion rings. I washed the vittles down with several glasses of geniune Coca-cola. The experience was marvelous. I'm a huge fan of junk food. All that sugar sends me straight to the moon.

I watched the latest episode of Hell On Wheels. It's currently my favorite show on television. Bohannon leaves his wife and child to go back to the railroad. He's an expert with explosives and uses nitro to blast through solid granite. But the stuff is highly unstable, so loads and loads of Chinese workers are constantly in harm's way. Two are actually blown to smithereens. Their limbs are reduced to a vapor of red mist. American television rocks.

I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some dirty pagan. I thanked The Savior for his many blessings. Lots of folk don't have the money to clog their arteries with junk food. Plus I also have access to hot running water. That's a big deal. Things could always be worse. I'm just glad that I wasn't born in Somalia.

I went to bed at 10 p.m. I didn't dream. I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. Two Korean police officers are currently in a world of shit. They got caught having sex with underage high school girls. One of the victims even attempted suicide. The powers-that-be tried to cover up the crimes. But the two students took their story to the press. For some reason, lots of scumbags end up in law enforcement. It's a global problem.

I turned on CNN. Sadly, the ragheads are up to their old tricks. Thirty-six people were killed during a terror attack at the international airport in Istanbul. A single shooter unleashed all that carnage. He fired his bullets and blew himself up. Mark my words. Islam will prove the death of us all. Those people are crazy.

Anyway, I've shot my load. So long for now, and God bless everybody.

Monday, June 27, 2016

The Traditionalist Worker Party hates Jews, Blacks, Hispanics, Fags, and Muslims

(Matthew Heimbach is the leader of the TWP.)
 
Yesterday, the Dragon Lady prepared beef and rice for dinner. I'm not a huge fan of rice. However, in South Korea, you can't get away from the stuff. It's served with every meal. But I didn't complain. I just smiled and ate my food like a well-behaved retard. I'm wonderful that way. I washed the vittles down with several large glasses of Cass beer. A good time was had by all.
 
I took my wife and youngest son to the movies. We watched The Conjuring 2. I nearly shit my pants with fear. Who knows? Maybe I'm half-a-fag, but I kept my eyes shut for minutes at a time. The most disturbing character is the transvestite nun. This demon absolutely tortures the poor family its haunting. It even tries to impale the youngest daughter on a jagged tree trunk.
 
I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some dirty pagan. I thanked The Savior for his many gifts. For instance, I live in a shithole that is warm and dry. Plus I get to occasionally eat sushi and get drunk on beer. Lots of folks aren't as lucky as me. I'm just glad that I wasn't born in Uganda.
 
(This transvestite nun is pure evil.)
 
I went to bed at 10 p.m. I dreamt that I bought a bucketful of poisonous fish. These little critters had a deadly sting. My family insulted me when I brought the bucket into the house.
 
I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. A famous actor from Seoul hanged himself in his apartment. He had been suffering from meth addiction for many years. His habit had cost him his family and career. I stay away from narcotics. Alcohol seems to do the job for me. This lost soul donated his organs to medicine. Let's hope that he doesn't meet the transvestite nun in the afterlife. The poor son-of-a-bitch has suffered enough.
 
I turned on CNN. A white supremacist group called the Traditionalist Worker Party tried to hold a rally in Sacramento, California. They were attacked by a communist group called By Any Means Necessary. Ten people were taken to the hospital after being stabbed with knives. The Traditionalist Worker Party had a permit to assemble. You don't get to assault people just because you disagree with them. American Nazis have rights, too.
 
Anyway, I've shot my load. So long for now, and God bless everybody.  

Friday, June 24, 2016

Capitalism in North Korea

(A female loan-shark was recently killed in North Korea.)

Yesterday, I took my family to McDonald's. I had a Big Mac and a large order of French fries. I washed the vittles down with a glass of genuine Coca-Cola. I'm a broke dead dick, so I usually drink the generic stuff. But sometimes a man has to splurge.

We returned to our concrete Soviet-style tenement. I watched an episode of Hell On Wheels. It's one of my favorite programs. Gunderson kills Bohannon's in-laws with an axe. However, the crazed Finn is eventually brought to justice. He's hanged by the United States Army. Gunderson's neck doesn't snap. He basically chokes to death slowly. The whole process is very disturbing to watch.


I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some filthy nihilist. I thanked The Savior for his many blessings. First, I'm very happy that my sons aren't homosexuals. No kidding. I'm not sure if I could handle that curse. Second, it's great to be able to eat meat every once in a while. Lots of people are vegetarians for financial reasons. Things could always be worse. I'm just happy that I wasn't born in Greenland.

I went to bed at 10 p.m. I dreamt that my wife bought a new apartment. However, the management told us that we weren't allowed to bring our children.

I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. A debtor in North Korea killed a female loan-shark with a knife. The suspect is a retailer who got behind on her payments. Some are speculating that the isolated dictatorship is warming up to the notion of capitalism. I'm not so sure. I don't expect reunification in the near future. But stranger things have happened.

I turned on CNN. Officer Caesar Goodson was aquitted of all charges in the Freddie Gray case. There's a good chance that none of the police officers will face jail time for Gray's death. And I couldn't be happier. Freddie was a drug dealer with a rap sheet a mile long. More importantly, he wasn't a victim of homicide. He met his demise when he foolishly decided to run from the cops. If I were king of the world, I'd legalize all narcotics. Who needs the headache?

Anyway, I've shot my load. So long for now, and God bless everybody.

Thursday, June 23, 2016

Donald Trump: Hillary Clinton is a pathological liar.

(Hillary Clinton is wrong for America.)
 
Yesterday, the Dragon Lady made chicken fried rice for dinner. I'm not a huge fan of rice. In South Korea, you can't get away from the stuff. To make matters worse, the meal was so spicy that it burned a hole right through my tongue. But I didn't complain. I just smiled and ate my vittles like the village idiot. I'm wonderful that way.
 
I watched Game of Thrones. The latest episode is very impressive. Jon Snow destroys Ramsay Bolton's army with the help of an unexpected ally. The battle scenes are filled with blood and gore. Heads go flying left and right. Bolton is eventually captured and tied to a chair. Then he is eaten alive by his own hounds. Game of Thrones is always good for a laugh. What's not to love?
 
I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some dirty pagan. I thanked The Savior for his many blessings. For instance, I live in a country where it's legal to drink beer. Not everybody can say that. Plus nobody's getting shot, crucified, or drowned in metal cages. Things could always be worse. I'm just glad that I wasn't born in Libya.
 
I went to bed at 10 p.m. I had a terrifying dream. I turned into a wolf and killed my mother. My demons have demons.
 
I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. The North Koreans fired more rockets into the sea. The entire peninsula's on alert. But I don't fear my surly neighbors. I'm more worried about ISIS and Islam. Mark my words. The rag-heads will prove the death of us all.
 
I turned on CNN. Donald Trump delivered a scathing speech about Hillary Clinton. Everything he said was right. She's pure evil. Hillary's a self-serving greedy liar. She's also the property of Goldman-Sachs. A vote for Clinton is a vote for more Wall Streedt fraud. Nevertheless, I think she'll win the White House. Peasants love to get pissed on.
 
Anyway, I've shot my load. So long for now, and God bless everybody.

Wednesday, June 22, 2016

Pastor Donnie Romero really hates fags!

(Donnie Romero might be hateful shithead, but he's not a killer.)
 
Yesterday, I took my family to a couple of restaurants. First, we went for sushi at a new establishment near our apartment. I loved the meal. I also ate raw octopus. But the Children of the Rice weren't satisfied. They wanted more food. So we walked to a chicken-house. I washed the vittles down with lots of Cass beer. Cass is both smooth and delicious.
 
I watched the season finale of Bates Motel. Norman finally kills his mother. He does the deed by using carbon-monoxide in a botched murder-suicide plot. Sheriff Romero arrives too late to save his wife. But he does manage to bring Norman back to life. The young man digs up Norma's freshly buried corpse. She's now lying on the sofa in the living room. I can't wait till the next season. American television rocks.
 
I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some dirty pagan. I thanked The Savior for his many gifts. For instance, I really enjoy living in South Korea. I have no fear of crime. Plus my kids get to go to safe schools. I never worry about drugs or violence. On top of that, I can occasionally afford to eat meat. Things could always be worse. I'm just glad that I wasn't born in Pakistan.
 
I went to bed at 10 p.m. I dreamt that I was in a bar drinking with college students. Five young men threatened to beat me to a pulp. I told them that I was going to call the police. They ran away.
 
I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. There was an editorial about President Park. The writer believes she is taking the country in a backward direction. Park's father was a very popular military dictator back in the day. He was eventually assassinated with a pistol shot to the head. However, he's still credited with Korea's economic miracle. His daughter is controversial just like her daddy.
 
I turned on CNN. The Orlando shooting remains a hot topic in the news. The press is linking the massacre to gun control and conservative Christianity. But it's important to remember exactly who the shooter was. First, Omar loved Islam. Secondly, he practiced homosexuality on a regular basis. In fact, his former boy-toy claims that Omar was angry after recently being exposed to HIV. So let's get one thing straight. The murderer was an Islamic sodomite. Period. Paragraph.
 
Anyway, I've shot my load. I'll talk to you later, and God bless everybody.

Tuesday, June 21, 2016

Donald Trump fires Corey Lewandowski

(Trump fires Corey Lewandowski.)

Yesterday, the Dragon Lady prepared ham and rice for dinner. I'm not a huge fan of rice. But in South Korea, you can't get away from the stuff. It's served with every meal. I washed the vittles down with several large glasses of Cass. Cass is my favorite Korean beer. It's nice and smooth.

I watched the UFC. The main bout featured a contest between Rory MacDonald and Stephen Wonderboy Thompson. The fight was a real chess match. Both men gave each other a lot of respect. Nevertheless, Thompson won easily. Rory just didn't possess the speed to catch him with any significant shots. To make matters worse, Stephen shattered MacDonald's nose in the fifth round. Blood went everywhere. I love the UFC. The violence is incredible.

I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some dirty pagan. I thanked The Savior for his many blessings. My crazy wife is still on her medicine, and my children haven't been kicked out of school. Plus I can occasionally afford to eat beef. Things could always be worse. I'm just glad that I wasn't born in the Ozarks. Talk about a shithole.

I went to bed at 10 p.m. I dreamt that I was back in university. I was thrown out of the school library by an angry security guard. I thought he might kill me.

I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. Two Vietnamese fisherman killed their Korean captain with a knife. They also murdered the ship's first-engineer. According to the crew, the two men are usually nice. However, they went off the reservation after drinking too much hard alcohol. I avoid whiskey like the plague. It's best to stick to beer.

I turned on CNN. I was disappointed to learn that Donald Trump fired Corey Lewandowski at the behest of his son-in-law. I really liked Corey. He took a campaign that was going nowhere and turned it into a winner. In fact, Lewandowski was the brains behind the Trump miracle. Day by day, The Donald keeps losing his luster. Nevertheless, I like him a hell of a lot more than Hillary.

Anyway, I've shot my load. So long for now, and God bless everybody.

Friday, June 17, 2016

More than four out of 10 Korean workers with children regard themselves as "edupoor"

(I'm a broke dead dick.)
 
 
Yesterday, I took the Dragon Lady to my favorite restaurant. We ordered fifteen dollars worth of fried chicken. The bird tasted wonderful. I ate every last morsel on my plate. We washed the vittles down with a pitcher of Hite beer. My wife is now medicated, so she's becoming quite the drunkard. Good for her.

We got back home at 9 p.m. I watched television. The Samsung Lions lost again. They are on their way to becoming the worst team in all of Korean baseball. If they lose three more games, there's a chance that they'll end up in the cellar. Nevertheless, I'm travelling to Daegu this weekend to watch the squad take on the first place Doosan Bears.

I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some filthy pagan. I thanked The Savior for his many blessings. For instance, I'm not some dirty sodomite relieving myself in the women's bathroom. Plus I can occasionally afford beef. Things could always be worse. I'm just glad that I wasn't born in Djibouti.

I went to bed at 10 p.m. I had another dream about smoking at the train station. I haven't had a cigarette in years. But I do miss them from time to time.

I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. Many families in Korea consider themselves edupoor. They spend tons of money so that their children can excell in English, math, and science. I feel their pain. I also spend a ton on after-school academies. My little boy is currently taking math, Chinese, and piano. The monthly bill's a killer.

I turned on CNN. Donald Trump continues to get thrown under the bus by the mainstream Republican leaders. The Donald's asking the powers-that-be to keep their mouths shut so that he'll have a chance in November. But that's not going to happen. Men like Mitt Romney and John Kasich don't want change. And why would they? They've made fortunes following the same old routine.

Anyway, I've shot my load. So long for now, and God bless everybody.