Friday, July 29, 2016

My New Address


I've decided to switch addresses. Here's my new url. I'm looking forward to seeing everybody at http://eatingdoginkorea.blogspot.com  Thanks. And God bless.

Wednesday, July 27, 2016

Koreans Still Eat Dogs

(Koreans eat dogs during the summer.)

Yesterday, I went to a Thai restaurant for dinner. The meal was a little too ethnic for my taste. For instance, this particular eatery fries its fish with the head and tail still in place. Plus all of the rice was curried. But I didn't complain. I just smiled and ate my vittles with a smile on my face and a song in my heart. I'm wonderful that way.

We went to the roof of my brother-in-law's apartment to drink beer. My wife yelled at my eldest son because of his grades. His marks aren't that bad. He's just an average kid. But she wants him to become a Harvard trained doctor. Good luck with that. I'm not a helicopter parent. If he doesn't want to study, he can always join the United States Air Force. He's a bright kid who speaks two languages. They'd love to have him. Besides, most college degrees aren't worth the paper they're written on.

I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some dirty nihilist. I asked The Savior to protect my wife. The Dragon Lady hates Taiwan--including the cuisine. This vacation is driving her crazy. I have a sneaky suspicion that she will soon be fighting with her sister-in-law. I stay out of family squabbles. I prefer drinking beer and listening to music.

I went to bed at 11 p.m. I didn't dream. I woke up at 9 a.m. and drank a cup of instant coffee. Then I surfed the internet while enjoying a bathroom break. Two woman from England are protesting in Seoul over the consumption of dog meat. They believe that eating man's-best-friend is an act of barbarism. I like dogs. But I'm not really an animal person. We can focus on our four-legged buddies after human suffering has been eliminated.

I turned on CNN. It was the second day of the Democratic National Convention. Bill Clinton was the main attraction. He talked about meeting his lesbian wife back in 1971. He made that bitter old whore sound like a sweet little girl. But we know better. This world has been taken over by multi-national corporations. And she's got her tongue right up the asshole of Goldman Sachs. I can't believe that people are stupid enough to actually vote for her.

Anyway, I've shot my load. So long for now, and God bless everybody.

Tuesday, July 26, 2016

Korean Police Officer Arrested for Public Masturbation

(Van Jones is a little bitch.)

Yesterday, I went to a noodle shop for dinner. I had to walk there. Walking in Taipei is scary shit. The streets are overrun with aggressive Chinamen on motorbikes. But I made it to the restaurant safely. The meal was pretty damn good. The noodles were served in a thick beef broth. Plus the soup was loaded with tons of meat. A good time was had by all.

I went home and read a book called Stormbird. The author is a guy named Conn Iggulden. He writes lots of historical fiction. Stormbird is about the Wars of the Roses. I love historical fiction because I'm big into escapism. I often enjoy pretending that I'm a powerful duke who oppresses the local peasants. When they get out of line, I have them beheaded with a wave of my hand. After that, I return to my castle and eat cake.

I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some dirty atheist. I thanked The Savior for his many gifts. For instance, not a lot of people get to see Taipei. This is a unique Asian metropolis filled with lots of good food and tasty alcohol. In fact, I would urge all of my readers to go out and buy a bottle of Taiwan Beer. It's wonderful. Things could always be worse. At least I'm not back in America facing eight years of a Clinton presidency. Piss on that.

I went to bed at 11 p.m. I didn't dream. I woke up at 9 p.m. and drank a cup of instant coffee. Then I surfed the internet while enjoying a bathroom break. A Korean policeman was arrested for masturbating in public during a bus ride. Recently, a Korean baseball player was arrested on the same charge. I hope this isn't a trend. The officer admitted his guilt. However, he says his memory is foggy because he drank a lot of soju that night.

I turned on CNN. The Democratic National Convention is now in full swing. Michelle Obama delivered a speech saying that she'd trust her children to live in a village run by Hillary Clinton. What a crock of shit. Hillary's a criminal who's married to a rapist. I wouldn't let her help my kids to cross the street. But the liberals love Michelle. Van Jones was moved to tears. He's such a little misty-eyed bitch.

Anyway, I've shot my load. So long for now, and God bless everybody.

Monday, July 25, 2016

Debbie Wasserman Schultz Screws Bernie in His Elderly Ass

(Debbie Wasserman Schultz is now working directly for Hillary.)

Yesterday, I took my family to a place called Ximending. We went to a restaurant famous for the hot pot. Beef and seafood are boiled in spicy broth right before your eyes. I ate a lot of shrimp and scallops. I washed the vittles down with several glasses of Taiwan Beer. We stayed in the eatery for nearly three hours. Then a waitress timidly told us to leave. We had worn out our welcome. Oh well. The good times can't last forever.

The Dragon Lady went shopping for clothes. She bought me several t-shirts which promote Taiwan. Each piece of clothing came to five dollars. Not bad. It's tough to find stuff in my size. I'm a husky young lad. I currently weigh more than 240 pounds. I'll probably die soon. My blood is nothing but bacon grease, and I piss pure alcohol. But I've already given up the tobacco. Soon I'll have nothing left. So what's a boy to do?

I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some dirty pagan. I asked The Savior to protect me from the Dragon Lady. I've been experiencing some chaffing in my private regions due to the heat. My wife decided to cure the problem by rubbing Bengay all over my testicles. She meant well, but the burning was beyond belief. And the pain lasted for more than twenty minutes. I even thought about going to the emergency room. Luckily, I feel fine today.

I went to bed at 11 p.m. I had a dream that I was back in high school protecting my friends from militant Muslims. I killed several with a pistol. After that, I expressed my guilt to several bikers whom I had never met. They told me to fuck off.

I woke up at 9 a.m. and drank a cup of instant coffee. Then I surfed the internet while enjoying a bathroom break. Many Koreans are upset about THAAD. It's a missile system designed to protect the peninsula from its belligerent northern neighbor. Nobody wants it in their backyard. Still, better safe than sorry. THAAD, in my opinion, is a necessary evil. But what do I know?

I turned on CNN. The DNC screwed Bernie Sanders up the ass...yet again. They thought about painting him as an atheist to help Hillary win the nomination. Debbie Wasserman Schultz has been forced to resign over the hub-bub. However, Hillary gave her crony another job working directly for the campaign. Hillary manages to corrupt everything she touches. That old lesbian one evil bitch.

Anyway, I've shot my load. So long for now, and God bless everybody.

Sunday, July 24, 2016

Into the Heart of Darkness

(The Taipei 101 building.)

Yesterday, we arrived in Taiwan in the late afternoon. My brother-in-law met us at the airport. The heat was sweltering. He took us to the 101 building in his brand new Toyota. We ate some food which was absolutely delicious. I'm not sure of the name of the stuff that was brought to the table, but it was heavy with pork and shrimp. I washed the vittles down with two giant bottles of Taiwan Beer. A good time was had by all.

We drove to the infamous night market. The road was littered with Chinese men and women on mopeds. They swerved in and out of traffic like a bunch of lunatics. I nearly shit my pants. The night market was sheer hell. The streets were loaded with so many people that I could barely move. I even had a difficult time breathing. No kidding. Some asshole threw an elbow at my eldest child. He's lucky I didn't see him. I'd have kneed him right in the balls.



We returned to my brother-in-law's apartment. He's a dirty pagan. Nevertheless, I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some filthy atheist. I thanked The Savior for my many blessings. I'm not handsome or brilliant. But I can still navigate my way through this world without starving to death. Plus I get to eat meat from time to time. Things could always be much worse. I'm just glad my brother-in-law can afford air-conditioning. It's like an oven outside.

I went to bed at 10 p.m. I didn't dream. I woke up at 10 a.m. and drank a cup of coffee. Then I surfed the internet while enjoying a bathroom break. A Korean man hanged himself at the Manila airport. He was wanted by the powers-that-be for fraud. He decided death was better than jail. I don't understand his actions. Korean prisons aren't that bad. People don't get raped, and they let you smoke. In fact, prison on the peninsula is a nice place to make new friends. His final action was much too drastic.

I turned on CNN. Hillary chose Tim Caine as her running mate. This selection is a real head-scratcher. Caine's just another friend of the big banks, and he does nothing to excite the liberal base of the party. Bernie must be shitting in his pants right now. The democratic movers-and-shakers have ass-raped him since he threw his hat in the ring. That old bastard can't buy a break.

Anyway, I've shot my load. So long for now and God bless everybody.

Friday, July 22, 2016

Van Jones Is a Communist

(I'd like to piss on Van Jones's mailbox.)

Yesterday, the Dragon Lady spent the day looking for plane tickets. So I had to cook for myself. I prepared eggs, hash-browns, and fried bread for dinner. The meal was absolutely delicious. My culinary skills are formidable. Perhaps I'm half-a-fag. I washed the vittles down with several large glasses of Cass. A good time was had by all.

I read Gary J. Byrne's Crisis of Character. It's a book by a former secret service agent detailing his life with Bill and Hillary Clinton. It's pretty much what one would expect. The White House was filled with disrespectful hippies who were careless with classified material; the gays were hanging rainbow stickers on all of the doors; and, for the coup de grace, Hillary was a heartless bitch who treated everybody like shit. Ho hum. Tell me something I don't know.

I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some dirty pagan. I asked The Savior to protect my crazy wife. She's currently scrambling to renew my eldest son's Korean passport. It looks like we'll be flying to Taiwan on Saturday. But who knows? Things have a tendency to go wrong. I just hope they serve free booze on the airplane. I haven't had a glass of Scotch in over seven years.

I went to bed at 10 p.m. I dreamt about driving my Santa Fe in Seoul. I kept saying the word fuck over and over again. The traffic was murder.

I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. The Korean Constitutional Court has determined that the recent smoking ban in restaurants is fine and dandy. I gave up tobacco years ago, so I have no dog in this fight. But I miss the good old days. The government used to leave the citizens alone. Now they are constantly in our business. Oh well. What's a boy to do?

I watched the final day of the Republican National Convention. I thought Donald Trump delivered a masterful speech. He hit upon all the major points that are eating away at America's greatness. Our jobs have been shipped overseas. Our brothers and sisters are being targeted by terrorists. And the special interests own our politicians. However, the liberals on CNN are calling The Donald a fascist. The worst offender is Van Jones. I'd like to piss on his mailbox. Fucking communist.

Anyway, I've shot my load. So long for now, and God bless everybody.  

Thursday, July 21, 2016

Ted Cruz Is Still a Dick

(Ted Cruz is truly a prick.)

Yesterday, the Dragon Lady served chicken and French fries for dinner. The poultry was covered in a yellowish hot-sauce. It burned a hole through my tongue. Nevertheless, the meal was quite delicious. I ate every last morsel on my plate. I washed the vittles down with several large glasses of Cass. Cass is my favorite beer on the peninsula.

I watched several episodes of Outlander. The setting for the second season is 18th century France. Maybe I'm half-a-fag, but I love this show. The relationship between Claire and Jamie seems genuinely passionate. Moreover, Black Jack Randall is one of the best antagonists on television. He's twisted and evil. Yet he sees himself as some type of downtrodden hero deserving of pity. Even though the show is written for women, there's enough sex and violence to keep most men interested. Give it a try.

I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some dirty misanthrope. I asked The Savior to protect my crazy wife. We were supposed to fly to Taiwan, but she brought the wrong passports. The powers-that-be wanted the wanted the children's South Korean passports. We only had the American. Subsequently, we were turned away. She's now scrambling to get a refund.

I went to bed at 10 p.m. I had another dream about defecating in public at Burger King. I dropped a steamer right in the dining area. The customers were horrified.

I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. There was an editorial supporting Black Lives Matter. The writer believes that African-Americans are singled out and hunted like animals because of the color of their skin. I don't buy any of that bullshit. Young black men are out of control and commit way too many crimes. Therefore, they are targeted by the police. For instance, you never see the cops hassling the Chinese. But what do I know?

I turned on CNN. The Republican National Convention is in full swing. And once again Ted Cruz showed the entire world that he's a complete asshole. He accepted Trump's invitation to speak and proceeded to throw The Donald under the bus in front of a global audience. Talk about a low-class douchebag.

Anyway, I've shot my load. So long for now, and God bless everybody.