Thursday

(Islam will eventually kill us all.)

Yesterday, the Dragon Lady had an appointment.  So I was forced to cook my own dinner.  I prepared pork and French fries.  I did a fine job.  The meal was delicious.

Jim played Starcraft in his bedroom.  My son is a video crackhead.  Sadly, I no longer care.  At least he isn't mainlining heroin.  That's the way I look at the situation.  The glass is definitely half-full.

I watched Game of Thrones.  The fat guy and his homely girlfriend become surrounded by hundreds of crows.  The birds caw and caw and caw.  Then a monster with florescent blue eyes appears on the scene.  The fat man kills the beast.  The end.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  And why not?  I refuse to babble like a pagan.

I went to bed at 10 p.m.  I didn't dream.  I woke up at 6 a.m.  I drank coffee and read the paper.  A dead woman was discovered in a pop-singer's car.  The police suspect suicide.  They found a note.

I turned on Fox News.  A British soldier in London was beheaded in broad daylight.  Militant ragheads are to blame.  Mark my words.  Those Islamic bastards will end up killing us all.  Just wait till they get their filthy hands on weaponized small pox.

Anyway, it's nearly 4 p.m.  I'm knackered.

Talk to you later.  God bless.

Wednesday

(Willie Nelson is eighty.)

Yesterday, the Dragon Lady served shrimp fajitas for dinner.  My wife is the shrimp fajita queen.  The meal was delicious.  I'm a big fan of seafood--especially shellfish.  I'd never make it as a Jew.

Bluce studied English.  He's only five-years-old.  Nevertheless, that kid loves cracking the books.  Unfortunately, he's not the brightest crayon in the box.  Bluce is about as smart as a dolphin.  Sadly, he'll never attend Princeton.  But who gives a flying screw?

I continued watching Oz.  The program is absolutely brutal.  It's filled with unsettling images of rape and murder.  However, the bible is much more graphic and disturbing.  Read Judges 19-21.  You tell me.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  And why not?  If it weren't for Jesus, I'd just be another misguided pagan or filthy atheist.  I owe him a debt of gratitude.

I went to bed at 10 p.m.  I didn't dream.  I woke up at 6 a.m.  I drank coffee and read the paper.  A six-month-old was found dead in a nursery.  The cops suspect foul play.  The child's corpse is being analysed for shaken-baby syndrome.

I turned on Fox News.  Willie Nelson held a benefit concert in Texas.  The proceeds went to the victims of the explosion in Waco.  Willie is eighty-years-old.  He still looks good.  Listen to this tune.  It rocks.

Anyway, talk to you later.  God bless. 

Tuesday

(Sir Alex Ferguson calls it quits.)

Yesterday, the Dragon Lady had an appointment.  So I prepared my own food.  I made spicy pork and French fries.  I washed the meal down with several glasses of Coke.  I'm becoming quite an accomplished cook.

Jim played Starcraft.  Then he completed some Korean homework with his mother.  They've been getting along much better.  I enjoy a peaceful apartment.  Strife sucks.

I watched a program called Oz.  It's a brutal prison drama.  The series is certainly riveting.  I wouldn't survive a day in the penal system.  I'm much too handsome and sweet-natured.  They'd pass me around for cigarettes and drug money.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  I've got a lot of problems.  My demons have demons.  But Jesus helps calm my feverish brain.  He's a celestial chill pill.

I went to bed.  I had a strange dream.  A woman carried my head in a glass jar.  She wandered around a sandy desert while my headless body followed her.  I really need to start drinking again.

I woke up at 6 a.m.  I read the paper.  Sir Alex Ferguson is no longer the manager for Manchester United.  His final game was a classic.  It ended in a 5-all draw.

I turned on Fox News.  A deadly tornado hit Oklahoma.  Many children were killed.  Life is short and brutal.  Spread your love because tomorrow a piano might fall on your head.

Anyway, I'll talk to you later.  God bless.

Sunday

(David Beckham is retiring.)

Yesterday, the Dragon Lady served beef and French fries for dinner.  The meal was good.  I also drank several large glasses of Coke.  Then I snacked on pretzels.  I enjoy eating.  It's all I got left.

The boys went to a festival with their mother.  They listened to music and played soccer.  Jim's not an athlete.  But that's OK.  Most Asians suck at sports.  Here on the peninsula, wearing glasses and excelling at math only enhance one's chances of finding a smoking-hot girlfriend.  Go figure.

I downloaded a new series called Revolution.  It's about a post-apocalyptic world without electricity.  The show is a tad simple-minded.  Nevertheless, I'm hooked.  I'm no rocket scientist, my friends.  Sometimes I enjoy giving my brain a much needed rest.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  Jesus's real name is Joshua.  It means one who saves.  You probably already knew that.  Interesting stuff.

I went to bed at 10 p.m.  I didn't dream.  I woke up at 8 a.m.  I drank coffee and read the paper. 

David Beckham retired.  I'll never forget when he got sent off the field against Argentina back in the 1998 World Cup.  He was just a kid.  I was afraid hooligans might murder him.  Europeans act like real assholes when it comes to soccer.  Their behavior is often shameful.

I turned on Fox News. Rand Paul was on Huckabee.  Rand thinks that Hillary Clinton isn't qualified to be the next president.  He's probably right.  The problem, however, is the republicans have no one capable of defeating her.

Anyway, talk to you later.  God bless.

Saturday

(Harold and Kumar:  Funny stuff)

Yesterday, the Dragon Lady served spicy pork and egg rolls for dinner.  The meal was way too hot.  But I didn't complain.  I just smiled and ate my vittles.  I'm wonderful that way.

Jim refused to study.  So we enjoyed a movie night instead.  The first film on the agenda was Harold and Kumar Escape From Gitmo.  What can I tell you?  I laughed, I cried.  This was followed by the original Carrie featuring Sissy Spacek and John Travolta.  Bluce was so frightened that he nearly pissed his pants.

Yes.  A great time was had by all.  The Children of the Rice might not be Harvard material.  Nevertheless, they know how to have fun.

I paid homage to Christ.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  Kneeling is important.  It symbolizes submission to God's will.

I went to bed at midnight.  I didn't dream.  I woke up at 9 a.m.  I drank coffee and read the paper. 

Korean parents are crazy about education.  Some even manufacture fake passports to get their children into swanky international schools which cater to foreign children.  The government is getting tired of ambitious tiger moms.  Hefty fines will soon be issued.  Maybe.

I turned on Fox News.  The IRS scandal is still dominating the headlines.  Don't be surprised if Obama gets himself impeached.  His hubris is boundless.

Anyway, talk to you later.  God bless.

Friday

(Hannibal rocks.  What a great show.)

Yesterday, Bluce went on a field trip with his kindergarten.  So I took the rest of my family to Pizza Hut.  We enjoyed spaghetti and personal pan pizzas.  The meal was delicious.

I weigh a ton.  I'm pushing 210 pounds.  None of my clothes fit.  I have to purchase a whole new wardrobe.  Sadly, Smith is just another fat Yankee.  Oh well.  What's a boy to do?

Jim studied Korean social studies with his mother.  They're getting along splendidly.  I have no idea what happened.  I live in a bizarre world.  Soon the sky shall fall.

I watched Hannibal.  The experience was wonderful.  Dr. Lechtner kills two men.  He snaps one man's neck with expert precision.  Then he bludgeons a haughty murderer to death with a heavy statue.  Good stuff.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  Jesus stands hand in hand with the poor and oppressed.  Therefore, we should never succumb to idolatry.  Worshipping at the feet of the golden calf is fatal.  Why sell ourselves so cheaply?

I went to bed at midnight.  I didn't dream.  I woke up at 8 a.m.  I had to piss like a racehorse. 

I drank coffee and read the paper.  There's a Korean baseball player named Choo.  He's a member of the Cincinnati Reds.  Yesterday, he hit two home runs against the Marlins.  Choo's having a great season.  Good for him.

I turned on Fox News.  President Obama is a liar.  No big surprise.  Bush was a liar.  And Clinton was a liar.  And Bush the elder was a liar.  And Reagan was a liar.  And Nixon was a liar.  The list goes on and on.  Only an idiot trusts the government.

Put your faith in Jesus Christ.  Everyone else will let you down.

Anyway, talk to you later.  God bless.

Thursday

(Criminal Minds is a sick disgusting show.)

Yesterday, the Dragon Lady had an appointment.  So I made dinner.  I cooked French fries and egg rolls.  The meal was good.  However, I can't take all the credit.  My magnificent Phillips air-fryer did most of the heavy lifting.

Jim didn't study.  He's on break from school because tomorrow's Buddha's birthday.  He goes back Monday.  The boy hates cracking the books.  He's a lazy little bastard--just like his daddy.  We were born to lounge.

I watched Criminal Minds.  It's the sickest show on television.  A man hates women.  He guts his victims and makes them clean their own blood as they slowly die.  Disturbing stuff.  Nevertheless, I'm a huge fan.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  No big surprise.  It's not like I'm some misguided pagan.

I went to bed at 9 p.m.  I didn't dream.  I woke up at 6 a.m.  I drank coffee and read the paper.  Nine men were arrested in Seoul for smuggling fake Viagra from China.  They were caught selling the pills to local pharmacies.

I turned on Fox News.  Obama's in a world of shit.  He just fired the head of the IRS.  More heads shall role as he and his cronies attempt to cover their asses.

It's currently two p.m.  I'm knackered.

Anyway, talk to you later.  God bless.