Sunday, February 7, 2016

Sunday

(Marco is another Wall Street ass-licker.)

Yesterday, I made chicken for dinner.  I fried the bird using liberal amounts of grease and salt.  My children raved about the meal. The boys ate every last morsel on their plates. They think that I'm the king of poultry.  I washed the vittles down with several glasses of generic cola.  I'm a broke dead dick, so I can't afford the good stuff.

I watched the latest episode of War and Peace.  The series is produced by the BBC.  Usually, I'm far too stupid to enjoy British television.  But the show is utterly riveting. I've never read the novel by Leo Tolstoy.  However, I'm going to download a copy in the near future. If it's better than the television program, then I'll truly be in heaven.

I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  No big surprise.  I'm not some dirty pagan. I asked The Savior for his help yet again.  It's Chinese New Year, but my sister-in-law kicked me out of her house. She thinks that I'm a rude Yankee.  She might be right.  I'm still bitter because the Dragon Lady keeps leaving me.  My wife's now with her family, and I'm at home with the children.  On the bright side, things are very peaceful. I have wonderful kids.

I went to bed at 2 a.m. I had a dream about traveling to Scotland in a very fast airplane.  I attended a soccer game between Rangers and Celtic. Rangers were soundly defeated. My dead relatives were disappointed with the outcome.

I woke up at 8 a.m. and drank a cup of instant coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break.  A pastor from Seoul beat his thirteen-year-old daughter to death.  He kept the victim in her bedroom for over a year before her corpse was finally discovered. Lots of children are abused on the peninsula by their parents. Corporal punishment is still used by most Koreans. I find the practice quite barbaric. We should all keep our hands to ourselves.

I watched CNN later in the day. Marco Rubio got his ass handed to him in the latest Republican debate.  It seems that Chris Christie ripped the young senator from Florida a new anal orifice.  I'm no fan of Rubio. He's just another Wall Street ass-licker.  I rooting for Donald and Bernie. They're the only two candidates in the race who aren't bought and paid-for.

Anyway, I've shot my load.  So long for now, and God bless everybody. 

Saturday, January 30, 2016

Saturday

(Hillary Clinton is a liar and a pig.)

Yesterday, I made rice omelets for dinner.  I cooked the meal using liberal amounts of salt and bacon grease.  My eldest son raved about the taste.  He ate every last morsel on his plate.  I'm the king of rice.  I washed the vittles down with several glasses of generic cola.  I'm a broke dead dick, so I can't afford the good stuff.

I completed season seven of Mad Men.  I have no complaints.  Pete gets a gig working for Lear Jet.  He brings his ex-wife Trudy along for the ride.  Meanwhile, Roger Sterling runs away with Megan's French-Canadian oversexed mother.  But Don takes the cake.  He hangs out with hippies in California and goes on to create a famous Coke commercial. Don's an ad-man till the bitter end. If you love drama, then Mad Men is a must.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  No big surprise.  I'm not some filthy pagan.  I thanked The Savior for my many blessings.  My children are smart and healthy. Plus we are wealthy enough to eat meat.  I'm just glad that I wasn't born in the Congo.

I went to bed at 12 a.m.  I had a vivid dream.  I was on a bus sitting next to UFC tough guy Josh Barnett. The mountain road was treacherous, and I gripped his arm fearfully. Later, we stopped at a tourist trap.  Donald Trump was there giving interviews, but he wouldn't talk to me. I was very disappointed.

I woke up at 10 a.m. and drank a cup of instant coffee.  Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break.  Many married women in North Korea cheat on their spouses in order to make extra money. The husbands are OK with this arrangement because the family needs to eat. Ironically, the reclusive nation forbids divorce any under circumstances. I live on a strange peninsula.

I turned on CNN.  Hillary Clinton was caught in yet another lie.  Her email scandal is the gift that keeps on giving. It turns out that twelve of the messages she shared over her private server are labeled top secret by the State Department. This woman's a dishonest pig. Nevertheless, she might be our next president. I just don't get it.

Anyway, I've shot my load. So long for now, and God bless everybody.    

Thursday, January 28, 2016

Thursday

(Screw Fox News and Megyn Kelly.)

Yesterday, I made chicken for dinner.  I fried the bird using liberal amounts of grease and salt. It came out all brown and crispy and delicious.  My son loved the meal.  He ate every last morsel on his plate.  Poultry's my specialty.  I washed the vittles down with two bottles of Jinro soju.  I've been drinking too much lately.  I should stick to cola.

I watched several episodes of Mad Men.  I'm currently on season seven.  Marriage doesn't seem to suit Don.  He divorces Megan and starts banging a mentally unhinged waitress.  Meanwhile, Roger fires Ken to please the boys at McCann.  However, his scheme backfires.  Ken lends a great job at Dow and vows revenge against his former buddies.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  No big surprise.  I'm not some filthy atheist.  I thanked the Savior for all my gifts.  My shack is warm, and I've got plenty of food in the refrigerator.  Plus I can afford meat.  I'm just glad that I wasn't born in Liberia.

I went to bed at 10 p.m.  I didn't dream.  I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank a cup of instant coffee.  Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. Korean men often take sex vacations to the Philippines. They impregnate the women and abandon the children.  There's now a blog dedicated to exposing these fellows.  However, the owner of the website is being sued for defamation.

I turned on CNN.  Once again, Donald Trump's dominating the headlines.  He's decided to drop out of the FOX Republican debate on Thursday night.  Good for him.  He was walking into a trap. Trump doesn't have to kiss the media's ass to win the nomination.  I've never been this excited about a presidential race.  We might actually get a president who isn't owned by the banks.

Anyway, I've shot my load.  So long for now, and God bless everybody.

Sunday, January 24, 2016

Sunday

(Potheads burn brain cells.)

Yesterday, I made pancakes for dinner.  I also cooked eggs and toast. I'm pretty good with breakfast materials. I'm a real Betty Crocker.  My son adored the meal.  He ate every last morsel on his plate. He calls me the king of the kitchen.  His words make me feel like half-a-fag.  Oh well.  What's a daddy to do?

I washed the vittles down with Jinro soju.  I have a soju strategy so that I can get buzzed without catching a nasty hangover.  I consume two bottles with a large glass of Cass beer. I wake up strong and loaded for bear.

I finished season six of Mad Men.  The show's wonderful.  Don goes into a dreamy trance and tells the boys from Hershey Chocolates about being raised in a whorehouse.  Of course, his firm loses the account.  Consequently, he's placed on indefinite leave for his erratic behavior.  Meanwhile, Pete Campbell gets suspended from Chevy because he doesn't know how to drive.  Mad Men is must see television. You'd be crazy not to view it.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  No big surprise.  I'm not some dirty pagan.  I thanked Jesus for my myriad of blessings.  I get to eat meat on a daily basis.  Lots of people aren't that fortunate.  I'm just glad that I wasn't born in Chad.

I went to bed at 10 p.m.  I had a dream about an old childhood friend. We discussed masturbation.  We agreed that jerking off was much more difficult in our day.  It was hard to find porno.  But now with the internet the kids have it much easier than us.  The conversation was pleasant.

I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank a cup of instant coffee.  Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. Peyton Manning and Tom Brady are facing off on Sunday.  I believe that the Patriots will win. Brady's the greatest quarterback in the game's history.  No one has ever come close to his ability to pull out wins.  He's truly a marvel.

I turned on CNN.  There was a special about marijuana.  According to Dr. Gupta, weed is both positive and negative.  It's great when used as medicine.  But when the drug is used strictly for pleasure, problems arise.  Potheads have lower IQ's than the rest of us.  They also tend to be lazy and petulant.

Anyway, I've shot my load.  So long for now, and God bless everybody.

Saturday, January 23, 2016

Saturday

(I always give the fags, lezbos, and lady-boys a pass.)

Yesterday, I cooked chicken for dinner.  I fried the bird using liberal amounts of salt and grease.  I'm the king of poultry. The meal was absolutely delicious.  My son cleaned his plate with a smile on his face and a song in his heart.  I washed the vittles down with water. I wasn't in the mood for alcohol.

I watched Mad Men.  I'm currently on season six. It's a great series. All the critics love it.  And I can see why.  Don's currently porking his neighbor.  The poor man has a tough time keeping his pants on.  Unfortunately, his daughter Sally catches him in the middle of coitus.  She runs away crying.  Meanwhile, Roger continues to drink and drop acid. Roger's one of the funniest characters in the history of television.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  No big surprise.  I'm not some filthy misanthrope. I thanked the Savior for all my blessings.  My life might not be perfect, but things could be much worse.  I'm just thankful that I wasn't born in Djibouti.

I went to bed at 10 p.m. I dreamed that I was in Alaska drinking and smoking in a tavern.  I had to catch a train.  I asked all the customers for a drive to the station because I feared I would miss an important meeting.

I woke up at six a.m. and drank a cup of instant coffee.  Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break.  Dear Abby was interesting. A young woman finds out that her BFF wants to be a man. She considers the concept strange and fears that her buddy is walking on dangerous ground.  Sex is a weird thing.  I always give the fags, lezbos, and lady-boys a pass.  Who am I to judge? After all, my demons have demons.

I turned on CNN.  There was a school shooting in Canada.  Four people were killed.  I know lots of Canadians.  They're always up my ass about violence in America.  But these problems are global. The world's filled with loons, and we all have one foot in the grave. So what's a boy to do?

Anyway, I've shot my load.  So long for now, and God bless everybody.   

Friday, January 22, 2016

Friday

(Heads should roll.)

Yesterday, I went with my eldest son to Emart.  Emart is the Korean version of Walmart. I bought bacon and soju.  I prepared the bacon for dinner along with fried rice.  The pork cooked up all crisp and thick and delicious.  My boy ate every morsel.  I washed the vittles down with two bottles of Jirno soju.  I got quite intoxicated for less than three dollars.  Good for me.

I listened to The Howard Stern Show. Howard cruelly taunted a retarded man named Asian Pete.  Pete has a low IQ and an extreme speech impediment.  It's hard to understand a word that comes out of his mouth.  He works at Home Depot helping the customers.  He's been employed for eight years.  To me, guys like Pete are heroic.  Life's hard enough when you're whole.  So why goof on him? I'd never pay for Stern.  You can get the program here for free.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  No big surprise.  I'm not some filthy nihilist.  I thanked the Savior for giving me great children.  For instance, my oldest son's a big happy goofball--even though his mother often acts like a loon.  Furthermore, he doesn't hold a grudge when she loses her shit.  And she loses her shit quite often. I couldn't ask for better kids.

I went to bed at 10 p.m.  I had a great dream.  I was at a party in a large cabin.  I smoked and drank and had a great time.  Everybody laughed at my jokes.  Usually, my sleep's plagued by nightmares. It was a nice change.

I woke up at six a.m. and drank a cup of instant coffee.  Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. A medical professional from Seoul was sentenced to a year in jail.  He advised a patient with cancer to forego medication and adhere to a strict diet of salt.  The victim complied and consequently passed away.  The sentence seems harsh to me.  But what do I know?

I turned on CNN.  The network's still covering the water emergency in Flint, Michigan.  This story makes me very angry. The poor are being poisoned by water contaminated with lead.  This tragedy could have been completely avoided for the paltry sum of 100 dollars a day.  If I were king of the world, heads would roll.  I'd march the powers-that-be to the town square and promptly hang them in chains.

Anyway, I've shot my load.  So long for now, and God bless everybody.

Thursday, January 21, 2016

Thursday

(Palin endorses The Donald.)

Yesterday, I made chicken for dinner.  I fried the bird using generous amounts of salt and grease.  It came out all brown and salty and crisp.  My son loved the meal.  He raved about my mad kitchen skills.  I washed the vittles down with two bottles of Jinro soju.  In South Korea, a large man can get fall-down drunk for less than five dolla.  You can't beat that.

I listened to The Howard Stern Show.  The featured guest was Bigfoot.  The poor man's a paranoid schizophrenic with an extremely low IQ.  Bigfoot claimed that he fingered his mailman's anus for a fee of fifty dollars.  The segment was very funny.  But I felt kind of guilty.  Stern's a sharp dude.  Picking on a mentally ill dullard seems a tad exteme.  Yet I must be honest.  I laughed so hard that I nearly pissed my pants.  Oh well.  What's a boy to do?

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  No big surprise.  I'm not some dirty pagan. I asked the Savior to grant me patience.  The Dragon Lady left me again. She went into another rage and tried to break all the furniture.  I'm not sure if her outrageous anger was sparked by Graves' Disease or mental illness.  But I no longer care.  I need a break.  There's only so much that a man can stomach.

I went to bed at 10 p.m.  I dreamed that my apartment was under the control of a beautiful woman.  She had golden hair and a bright smile.  The wench killed Clint Eastwood with her bare hands.  She snapped him like a twig.  Her behavior scared me.

I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank a cup of instant coffee.  Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break.  A man from Incheon beat his seven-year-old son to death.  After that, he dismembered the poor boy.  It took two years for the police to find the child's corpse.  The police on the peninsula are pretty useless. Plus Korea has very lax truancy laws. A student can drop out of school without any consequences. Teachers and care-givers keep their noses out of family business.  So tragedy strikes from time to time.

I turned on CNN.  Sarah Palin endorsed Donald Trump for president.  She claims that he's the man to turn the nation around.  I agree with her.  Sarah's son recently got arrested for beating up his girlfriend.  But I don't hold his bad behavior against the former governor.  Shit happens.  And there are more glad-tidings for Trump. Ted Cruz is in a lot of trouble.  Iowa's governor recently turned his back on the candidate.  The Donald could possibly run the table.

Anyway, I've shot my load.  So long for now, and God bless everybody.