Wednesday, March 27, 2013


(Jim Carrey insults Charlton Heston.)

Yesterday, the Dragon Lady made pork and egg rolls for dinner.  The meal tasted good.  My food was smothered in chili sauce.  I'm a big fan of chili sauce.  I don't know why.  Perhaps I'm retarded.

Jim got a 78 on his math test.  We took away his smart phone for a week.  He accepted his punishment like a man.  A deal's a deal.  His grades have to remain above an 80 if he wishes to overdose on 21st century technology.  Poor old Smith runs a tight ship.

I watched Weeds.  I'm really impressed with the series.  Nancy confesses to a murder that she never committed  in order to save her son.  She eventually gets released from a federal prison after serving a three year bit.  Then her sister--played by Jennifer Jason Leigh--tries to steal Nancy's child.  Good stuff.

Here's where I get all my television.  Pilfering from Hollywood is considered a crime.  Yet I don't feel guilty.  I'm just desperate for first-rate entertainment.  So what's a boy to do?

I paid homage to Christ.  I said the Our Father on bended knees.  The Lord visited Earth in the form of Jesus.  We spit on him.  We beat him half to death.  Then we nailed him to a tree.  He rose three days later.  God's will is God's will.  It can't be stopped.

I went to bed at 10 p.m.  I was far too sick to dream.  I woke up at 5:30 a.m.  I drank coffee and read the paper.

A Korean woman was assaulted by a group of Indian men.  What's going on with those crazy Hindus?  They can't keep their filthy hands off the ladies.  Someone needs to cut their nut-sacks.

I turned on Fox News.  Jim Carrey made a music video about gun control.  His song insults the late Charlton Heston.  Greg Gutfeld blew a gasket.  I don't see the big deal.  Heston's been dead for a long long time.  I'm sure he doesn't mind.

Anyway, talk to you later.  God bless.


  1. Good onya for taking away the smartphone as a disciplinary measure, Mr. Smith! If the DL had smacked him with a spoon, the punishment would have ended as soon as the pain stopped. All that would stick in your son's mind would be the resentment from being pounded by someone bigger than he is. But the sting of having no smart-tit to wank with for a week, that's a looooong lesson he'll be learning. Kudos for kreativity.

    1. My son is actually bigger than my wife.

      Trust me.

      The Spoon of Justice does him good.

      It's what a growing boy needs.



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