Saturday, April 13, 2013

Saturday

(Jane Fonda:  Still pissing people off after all these years.)

Yesterday, I drove to a mountain.  I did my best to climb to the peak.  But I just couldn't make it.  My failure was quite humiliating.  Women and teenagers were flying by me left and right. 

Here's the sad truth.  I'm just an ugly weak dirty old bastard.  Oh well.  What's a boy to do? 

I might quit exercising all together.  I can no longer see the point.  I'm going to die anyway.  Perhaps I should start smoking again.  Might as well go out with a smile on my face.

I took my family to a Korean beef restaurant.  The meal was quite tasty.  But my head was pounding so badly that I feared I was having a stroke.  No kidding.

The Dragon Lady said, "We not rike dis lestaulant.  We want da Burga King."

I said, "Don't worry.  Soon I'll be dead.  Then you can go wherever you please."

I wanted to watch television.  However, I was just too exhausted.  So I paid homage to the Christ God instead.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  I'm not some misguided pagan.

I went to bed at 8 p.m.  I didn't dream.  I woke up at 6 a.m.  I drank coffee and read the paper.

A 16-year-old boy in Inchon tried to rape a 12-year-old elementary school student.  She resisted his advances.  So he strangled the girl and buried her corpse in a rice field.

I turned on Fox News.  Conservatives are outraged.  Jane Fonda is starring in a new movie.  She's playing First Lady Nancy Reagan.  Personally, I don't give a flying freak.  Ho hum.

Anyway, talk to you later.  God bless.   

8 comments:

  1. I had a sub arachnoid aneurysm burst ten years ago. It hurt pretty bad, and took three months to learn to walk and talk again. You might not like it. Lost 65 pounds while I was in the coma; recently started an exercise program to get rid of the pot belly. You gotta start slow, Smith. At first I couldn't do five sit ups; bought a home gym and work out an hour a day now. Cut out the white sugar; it drains you. Best Jay

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I can't give up sugar.

      It's all I have left.

      Peace.

      Delete
  2. Smith, I know I already posted, but something occurred to me. Do you have high blood pressure? Mine was 270 over 160 a couple of days before the aneurysm burst and I dismissed it, plus I had some horrible headaches (not like the one when it burst though). just saying if you haven't you might want to get that checked out. I'll bet they have GOOD doctors there. Asians don't screw around, if you have the financial means. Best Jay

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My blood pressure is ok.

      I'm just too old for mountains.

      I can't do it anymore.

      Peace.

      Delete
  3. Mr. Smith, I had an experience similar to you, on a well-known hiking trail named the Grouse Grind (because it goes up the side of Grouse Mountain.) This mountain overlooks the city of Vancouver, has a good ski resort on top and is close enough to town that you can take a city bus to the base of it. All the local fitness-oriented young folks and skiers brag about how many times they've climbed it, what their best times are, etc. It's been described as a Stairmaster on the side of a mountain. Really steep, basically rocks and logs laid down on a slope that goes up at a 45-degree (or more) angle.

    Last September, I decided I had to hike it, or admit to myself that I was a poseur when it came to fitness. Now, I ride my bicycle everywhere, and can go 5 km on the elliptical machine at the gym in less than 30 minutes -- a pretty fast pace. But this trail kicked my ass. I made it to the top, even though it took me more than three hours. I was getting passed by girls in sandals and Filipinos who looked like they had just come off one of the cruise ships that docks in Vancouver. There were points when I was almost crawling, grabbing the next log ahead of me and pulling myself up a step. My gym workouts in a controlled environment, with easy repetitive motions, were like nothing compared to this dirt-covered scramble.

    Youknow what, though? I didn't care about getting blown away by almost everyone around me, even people who were a lot older than me. They don't know me; I'll never see them again, so I don't care what they think of some puffing white guy who had to stop and catch his breath every 50 steps or so. Because I was doing it for myself, not them. It's all about the joy of the experience, being in nature, finally finding out what people meant when they rattle on about "The Grind."

    So don't kick yourself and think that you should give up on fitness because you flopped one time. There will be a next time, if not on the same mountain, then some other challenge. When the Nork regime collapses, maybe you can hike the sacred mountain where Kim Il Sung sprang fully formed from the bowels of the earth, or whatever kind of creation myth those crazy commies attach to the dynasty's founder. The more you exercise, the better you feel, because of the endorphin kick you get from it. Your life is not over because of one setback. If you go back to smoking, you won't die smiling, you'll die gasping like I did on the final kilometre of that trail. Only your gasping won't go away when you stop to rest.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm tired of fitness.

      I need rest.

      Peace.

      Delete
    2. Well Smith, I'm a little sad you'be thrown in the towell on fitness. It's not a competition, make it a pleasurable past time, all you gotta do is get your heart rate up a bit for 45 minitues a day, it will keep improving from ther. Hey, your in your mid forties - spring chicken.

      As for smoking, well, you're well over physical withdrawal so it's all in your head man. I failed at giving up completely but down to 7 cigs a day, which is a big improvement on 25. Always keep in mind, once you grab the serpent you can't let go, (do you get my metaphor)

      All the best anyhow
      Glenn.

      Delete
    3. I'm not throwing in the towel.

      I still need a hobby.

      Exercise is all I got.

      Peace.

      Delete

Thanks for stopping by. Smith.