Tuesday, April 23, 2013


(I'm dumber than a dolphin.)

Yesterday, I had strange Korean soup for dinner.  The main ingredient was the leg of a cow.  My vittles also came with rice and translucent noodles.  I didn't enjoy the meal.  The stew was just a little too ethnic for my taste.  But I kept my mouth shut.  

The Dragon Lady slaved and slaved to make that crap.  It literally took 24 hours to cook.  So what's a husband to do?  I ate as much as I could with a stupid-looking grin on my face.  I try not to complain.  Poor old Smith has a wonderful attitude.

My wife told me that the average IQ of a dolphin is 80.  I grew depressed.  My IQ is only 120. Perhaps I should be swimming in a tank at Sea World waiting for teenagers to throw me fish.

Jim studied Korean.  He didn't listen to a word his mother said.  But I kept my cool.  I feel sorry for Jim.  His father's as dumb as a freaking fish.  The poor child is screwed.  Sadly, the acorn doesn't fall far from the tree.

I watched Vikings.  This week's episode features lots and lots of human sacrifice.  No kidding.  Watching men being ritually murdered freaks me out.  Nevertheless, I highly recommend the series.  Vikings is unforgettable.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  And why not?  Being a dirty nihilist isn't any fun.  Smith needs a code.

I went to bed at 10 p.m.  I didn't dream.  I woke up at 6 a.m.  I drank coffee and read the paper.  

A seventy-year-old gentleman in Seoul kissed two elementary school girls on the cheek.  Then he told them that he loved them.  The police nailed the old bastard with a six thousand dollar fine.  Serves him right.  Keep your lips off the kiddies unless they're your grandchildren.

I turned on Fox News.  The Boston bombers are still capturing the headlines.  The youngest brother is alive.  He'll be tried in a federal court and given the death penalty.  

I'm against capital punishment--even for dirty Muslim terrorists.  Rough justice is an evolutionary hangover.  Plus the sinners aren't afforded the proper time required to repent for their misdeeds.

Remember this, my friends.  Moses, King David, and Saint Paul have one thing in common.  They're murderers who atoned for their crimes.  The Lord loves us all--even the bloodstained.  

It's almost five p.m.  I'm knackered.

Anyway, talk to you later.  God bless.


  1. Good Morning Smith! When there was no Monday blog, I feared that South Korea might have vanished! I scored 118 and Bebing scored 119 on the same IQ test; my drunken neighbor got 170 "but I was drunk". 120 makes you a friggin Einstein!!! :)

    I awakened this morning with a giant OkOk sitting on top of the coffee pot. I HATE cockroaches. Are they a pest in SK?

    My wife makes something (I think she calls it Mami), it's a chunk of cow, glass noodles, one clump of bok choi. Its very tasty.

    Aren't you worshiping a man who was ritually murdered? My wife is a member of the cannibal church, but we don't go very often. I talk to Him in private, as he instructed.

    Best, Jay

    1. I usually take Mondays off.


  2. well I see the eugenics god Bill Gates has disrespected your president... heh best Jay

    1. His hand were in his pocket.

      I guess she wanted a bow.


  3. Hey Smith. Your IQ is above average - no surprise there. Your word craft gives you away.

    I don't think the dolphin is even the most intelligent animal. I remember visitng my sister once and my father was sitting in the most comfortable chair in the room. The cat kept staring at him. My sister explained that my father had taken the cat's chair. We thought nothing much about it. A little later, the cat went to the door, sat there, looked directly at my father and meowed. My father immediately got up to let the cat out. She ran back, right past him, and took her empty chair back. Elephants are very intelligent, apparently. Some of them can paint.


    Sometimes I think it would be very interesting and entertaining if your wife decided to start a blog about her life with you in the soviet style apartment. I can only imagine .....

    Keep writing please.

    Peace to you brother Smith.


    1. Thanks for the kind words.

      But I think you see me as more talented than I actually am.

      However, a good thought is a good thought.

      Why quibble.


    2. Hey smith. You are almost three standard deviations above the avg dolphin IQ so that means you are smarter than about 99.8% of them. 120 is good. You are not the smartest human but you are a genius among fish. Octopii are quite smart.

    3. I'm a mediocre man living a mediocre life.

      I'm cool with it.



Thanks for stopping by. Smith.