Thursday, February 13, 2014

Thursday

(Justified is an entertaining show.)

Yesterday, I took my family to a restaurant.  We ate fried chicken.  My kids also ordered dok-boki.  Translation?  Rice cake smothered in hot sauce.  I can't tolerate the stuff.  It's far too ethnic for a pasty-faced white man.  But the poultry was tasty.  I dipped my bird in mustard and salt.  Perhaps I'll have a massive stroke in the near future.  That actually sounds nice and painless.  I can think of worse ways to go.

We walked back to our Soviet-style concrete tenement.  It snowed quite heavily.  Some high-strung middle school boys accidentally bumped into the Dragon Lady.  She ripped them a new asshole.  My wife doesn't take any guff from rug-rats.  Good for her.

I completed season three of Justified.  The show rocks.  It's based on an Elmore Leonard short story.  The creepy antagonist Robert Quarles gets his arm severed by a meat cleaver.  He reaches desperately for his appendage before crumpling helplessly to the floor.  The part is played flawlessly by character actor Neal McDonough.  Neal's famous for starring in Band of Brothers.  He's excellent in that series, too.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  No big surprise.  I refuse to live my life like a filthy atheist. 

I went to bed at 4 a.m.  I didn't dream.  I woke up at ten a.m. and drank several cups of coffee.  Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break.  A Korean finally won an Olympic medal.  The honor went to a female speed skater.  The peninsula is alive with joy.  Happy days are here again.

I turned on Fox News.  Dr. Ben Carson appeared on The Factor.  He compared Obama to the Nazis.  The IRS has been breathing down Ben's neck, and the good doctor is feeling the heat.  Here's the deal.  If you bad mouth the powers-that-be, they're going to come after you.  Get used to it.

I walked ten miles.  I enjoy exercise.  It helps kill my stress.  However, the weather was crazy.  I had to battle sleet and hail.  Plus the wind was out of control.  My umbrella almost floated away.  No kidding.

The Dragon Lady is currently drinking coffee with her friends, so I'm alone with The Children of the Rice.  My youngest son Bluce just took a dump.  The kid is only six, but he shits like a bear.  He broke the toilet.  I can't get the damn thing to flush.  It's all clogged up with his smelly fecal matter.

Anyway, I'll talk to you later.  Today's song du jour is Do Ya by ELO.  God bless.

6 comments:

  1. good morning Smith. Ice everywhere here this morning. You don't want to have a stroke. I had a sub-arachnoid hematoma ten years ago and was in a coma for three weeks. Then three months to regain me strength and learn to walk and talk again. When I said "I guess if I had to go, I'd like for it to be a stroke, cause its so fast" the doc said you'd be lucky. More likely you'd end up drooling in a nursing home, with half of you paralyzed. Yeah, General Doom her won't put up with ANY BS from the kids (or anyone else, for that matter). Best, Jay

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    1. I'm well into my forties. I'm starting to realize that death can snatch me at any time. So what's a boy to do?

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  2. My second son used to lay down a turd like a Louisville Slugger. Had to let it soak and soften up a few hours to coax it down the toilet throat. Boy's an expert toilet plunger now, and uncloggin' his own commode, thanks to my excellent parenting.

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    1. When I was a young man, I considered becoming a plumber. A successful plumbing business can make a lot of money.

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  3. Why do you call her the Dragon Lady?

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    1. It's meant to be good-natured hyperbole.

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Thanks for stopping by. Smith.