(Pastor Fred Phelps is dead.)
Yesterday, the Dragon Lady prepared pork and French fries for dinner. The meal was delicious. My family eats a lot of pig. We'd never make it as Jews or Muslims. I washed the vittles down with a large glass of Coke. I'm not long for this world. But who really cares? Nobody's going to miss me.
One of my favorite hobbies is visiting Zero Hedge. It's a website populated by idolaters. Many of the users bombard poor old Smith with negative comments. All that attention makes me giddy. Tragically, however, the moderators burned my favorite account. National Blessing is now dead and gone. Let's honor his memory with a moment of silence.
I watched the latest episode of Vikings. Ragnar returns home in an attempt to regain his land. He's reunited with his first wife and eldest child. Meanwhile, Athelsten stays in England to help his pagan friends negotiate a good deal with the British king. He's eventually captured and crucified as a heretic. But the English monarch saves Athelsten's bacon just in the knick of time, ordering the bishop to release the bruised and bloodied priest from his cross. Talk about high drama.
I paid homage to Christ. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. It's not like I'm some filthy nihilist. I often appreciate the depravity present in the bible. The city of Sodom is destroyed for sexual sin. Yet Lot--favored by the one true God--survives. He heads to some nearby caves with his teenaged daughters. He later gets drunk and impregnates them both. See the irony? We are slaves to our own base nature. And it's Jesus who releases us from our chains.
I went to bed at 10 p.m. I didn't dream. I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank several cups of coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. The homophobic preacher Fred Phelps recently died of complications from old age. He was famous for holding protest marches at the funerals of American soldiers and blaming their deaths on homosexual depravity. Are gays depraved? Probably. But aren't we all a little twisted?
I turned on Fox News. O'Reilly's upset about the conspiracy theories swirling around the disappearance of Malaysian Flight 370. CNN even hired a psychic to give her take on the fate of the passengers. I agree wholeheartedly with Bill. We don't need this crazy speculation about aliens and black holes. Especially since we know the truth. Those unfortunate souls are now fish food lying at the bottom of the Indian Ocean. Case closed.
Anyway, it's time for the song du jour. Here's Tales of Brave Ulysses by Cream. God bless.