(Jon Bones Jones is absolutely amazing.)
Yesterday, I walked five miles to church. The journey took an hour. I have a pot belly and a sagging ass, so I really need the exercise. A guest from Uzbekistan delivered the sermon. She discussed the difficulties associated with practicing Christianity in a Muslim country.
The woman nearly put me to sleep. Perhaps poor old Smith is being unduly harsh. But she needs to practice her public speaking skills. It's tough to convert the pagan hordes if you bore them to death. A little bit of showmanship never hurt anybody.
We went to McDonald's. I ate a Big Mac and two large orders of French fries. The experience was delightful. I'm a big fan of junk food. I washed the vittles down with a large glass of Coke. Sugary soft-drinks make my heart sing with joy.
I downloaded Saturday's matches from the UFC. I sat absolutely transfixed while watching Jon Bones Jones kick the shit out of his latest opponent. Have you ever seen this guy fight? His style is nothing short of genius. He uses every part of his body to inflict maximum pain and damage on the fragile human anatomy. The man is truly awe-inspiring.
I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. It's not like I'm some filthy atheist. I asked Jesus to protect my kids from the temptation of idolatry. Too many people worship money. I want The Children of the Rice to live simple happy lives.
I went to bed at 10 p.m. I had a dream about fishing in a deserted lake. I stood in the water with my pole. I can't remember if I caught anything.
I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank several cups of coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. The Dallas Mavericks are giving the Spurs all that they can handle. The NBA Playoffs look very exciting this year. I miss American sports very much. I used to be an ESPN junkie.
I turned on Fox News. Cliven Bundy is a racist crackpot. This news doesn't surprise me. Nevertheless, Uncle Sam acted with the correct amount of restraint by returning his cattle. Nobody needs to die over some unpaid grazing fees. So let's give the devil his due. Kudos to the Feds for not murdering anybody...on this particular occasion.
Anyway, it's time for the song du jour. Here's Wherever I May Roam by Metallica. God bless.