Monday, April 7, 2014

Monday

(Norma Bates is a hottie.)

Yesterday, I walked five miles to church.  The weather was brisk, but I ain't complaining.  I need the exercise.  Poor old Smith is a disgusting fat body with a spare tire and a flabby ass.  I can't remember too much regarding the sermon.  We sing a lot. And all those tunes promote daydreaming.

I took the family to McDonald's.  I consumed a Big Mac and two large orders of French fries.  The Children of the Rice stuffed their faces with McNuggets.  I eat a lot of junk.  I used to be addicted to cigarettes.  Now starch and sugar are my new dope.  I'm looking for a way to mainline bacon grease and freebase pumpkin pie.

I downloaded Bates Motel.  It's an Arts and Entertainment original series.  The actress who plays Norma Bates is extremely hot.  I don't know her name.  But she's definitely a foxy mom.  Norman's first victim is his sexy school teacher.  He uses a large angry blade to send her to the afterlife.  Norman's so screwed up and repressed that he doesn't even realize that he's snuffed a human life.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  No big surprise.  It's not like I'm some filthy atheist. I begged Jesus to cure my cold.  I'm dying.  I cough so much that I can't even sleep.  My prayers haven't been answered.  I'm a walking corpse.

I went to bed at midnight.  I dreamed about a childhood project.  I was very nervous.  I had to take the project on the school bus, and my teenage enemies tried to destroy it.  They kept punching it.  I asked them to be nice, but they wouldn't listen.  Bastards.

I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank several cups of coffee.  Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break.  The Charlotte Bobcats are having a magical season.  They're a game above five hundred and headed to the playoffs.  Good for them.

I turned on Fox News.  The guy who invented Mozilla got fired for opposing gay marriage.  He's considered a neanderthal by the progressives in his circle.  Sometimes, it's best to keep your mouth shut...especially over small shit.  If two guys want to play house, then what's it to me if the government acknowledges their union?  It's not like the powers-that-be are forcing my pastor to perform the wedding ceremony.

Anyway, let's enjoy the song du jour.  Here's Where Have All the Good Times Gone by Van Halen.  God bless.

10 comments:

  1. Hi Mr. Smith,

    I hope Bluce is on the mend.

    That's great that you took a walk. If you want to live long enough to see your kids grow up, that will be the ticket.

    Thanks for your blog,
    Steve in Topeka

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    1. Thanks for the kind words, Steve. About a week ago, I walked 12 miles. But the jaunt nearly killed me. I'm getting old.

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  2. Are you copyrighted? It doesn't matter. I am going to immortalize your humor. You are perfect for a NPC in an RPG.

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    1. Thanks, brother. Those are some great compliments. Much appreciated.

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    2. Awesome I hope to someday play that game because I love his humor too ... but try to lay off that bacon grade and coke!

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    3. Many thanks for the kind words.

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  3. "It's not like the powers-that-be are forcing my pastor to perform the wedding ceremony."

    Not yet, but it is coming step by step.

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    1. I don't think so. Separation of church and state works pretty well.

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  4. Anonymous @ 7:15 a.m. is correct. Due to the latest ruling by SCOTUS, ( http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2014/apr/7/high-declines-appeal-over-nm-gay-bias-case/ ), any church/synagogue/temple in a state with gay marriage will be exposed to litigation if they deny homosexuals the "right" to get "married" in their house of worship. The issue is not two people of the same sex wanting to "play house", it's them wanting to play house in YOUR house. And when you tell them "no", they sue you for YOUR money forcing you to close YOUR house. In the NWO, right is wrong, good is bad and evil rules the day.

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    1. We'll see what happens. But I'm more concerned with bullshit wars than gay marriage. The Children of the Rice will give me grandchildren...unless they get their nuts shot off in some future desert hell-hole.

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Thanks for stopping by. Smith.