Monday, April 21, 2014

Monday

Yesterday, I walked five miles to church.  No big deal.  I really need the exercise.  Why?  My youngest son in six-years-old, so I have to stay alive and fit until I'm seventy.  Then I'm free to die of ass cancer. 

But shed no tears, my dearest friends.  I have great health insurance.  Plus I plan on mixing the morphine with copious amounts of alcohol.  Poor old Smith won't be feeling any pain as he sheds his mortal coil.

The service was great.  We sang and danced for ten minutes.  One of our members is from Nigeria.  He got on his knees and howled like a banshee while the praise team performed the hymns.  His antics used to scare my children.  After all, their own father is white, conservative, and uptight.  Thankfully, they've grown used to the multicultural Sunday hubbub.

I walked back to my Soviet-style concrete tenement.  I helped James-uh study for his math exam.  I'm a terrible teacher.  I grabbed the poor boy by his shirt and threatened to pop him in the mouth.  Algebra makes him so lethargic.  I feel as if I'm trying to educate an opossum hanging from an oak tree.  Talk about frustrating. 

Yet I want to make one thing clear.  I never spank my children.  I don't believe that corporal punishment is an effective method of discipline.  Instead, I scream the f-word at the top of my lungs and punch and kick the walls.  That's much better.  I might even win an award as father of the year.

I downloaded a new series called Fargo.  It features Billy Bob Thorton as a hit man operating out of Minnesota.  The first episode is fantastic.  One of the characters kills his wife with a hammer.  However, the murder is filmed so strangely that it almost feels like a fantasy scene.  Fargo is special.  You'd be crazy not to give it a try.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  No big surprise.  I refuse to babble like a pagan.  I asked Jesus to stop me from bitching at my eldest boy so much.  But--in my defense--James-uh is a handful.  And I can't sit back and watch him fail.

I went to sleep at 10 p.m.  I didn't dream.  I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank several cups of coffee.  Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break.  Bernard Hopkins won another boxing championship.  He's 49-years-old.  Some people are blessed with great genes.  Unfortunately, I'm not one of them.

I turned on Fox News.  Things are going from bad to worse in the Ukraine.  Russian separatists are causing an ass-load of trouble.  But I don't know what Obama is supposed to do about it.  The whole mess is a European problem.  Let them deal with it.

Anyway, it's time for the song du jour.  Here's Field of Stone by David Allen Coe.  God bless. 

14 comments:

  1. David Alan Coe?!? That's getting deep into the musical weeds.Next thing you know, you'll be dropping links to Jerry Jeff Walker or Leo Kottke.

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    1. I'm a big fan of David Allen Coe. I don't know why.

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  2. They give something similar to hospice patients. When it's my time to suck down painkilling cocktails and my bartender is an MD, I'll have the liquid morphine with Blue Sapphire with a dash of pharmaceutical liquid cocaine, stirred, please. And please tie a string to my big toe so I don't just up and float away. Tanked and tethered, that'll be me.

    Your mentioning of James-uh's BO reminded me of that time in my life when I no longer smelled like a boy. Learning that man-funk is very unattractive is I guess a lesson all young lads learn. From then on it's showers every day and deodorant. The upside for me was that I found out about colognes and how a little rose water went a long way, especially with the ladies, (which were quickly becoming infinitely more interesting for some reason). ;)

    At least now you know why children aren't born teenagers. If they were, they would not last a week. Parents would simply kill, cook and eat them. No, they are born helpless and cuddly. God imbues us with a dozen or so years of attachment before releasing the fury that teenage hormones on us. Wise cat, that God. Saw us coming a mile away. I do love Him so.
    Best,
    Theo

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    1. The only problem with drugs are the visions. My father used to see all kinds of weird shit before he kicked the bucket.

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  3. Ahh, David Allen Coe and Jerry Jeff Walker, those guys take me back. Hey, I'm OK with you putting that kind of music Smith.

    Theosebes, you run into such interesting people here at Smith's blog, even DoChenRollingBearing drops by... ;)

    Monday was a great day here in Bearinglandia. I completed Step Eight, I had been stuck in that swamp for months, it's a relief that I can now move forward.

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    1. Some country music isn't half bad.

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  4. Germany invaded Poland. It is a European problem. Let them deal with it.

    Oh noes, Germany took over England and ... they got their cryptography, sonar, radar, heavy bomber and nuke tech.

    Sure some scientists were evacuated to Canada but enough were captured and enough equipment that the Germans got the Amerika bomber and a nuke

    Oh Noes there goes NYC.

    "You might not be interested in War but War is interested in you."

    - Leon Trotsky

    Just saying ... the shin bone is connected to the leg bone and the ...

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  5. My opinion? Avoid war at all costs. It only exists to make a few guys rich.

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  6. Austin Texas. 1976. Easy Entertainment Services Inc. We booked Waylon Jennings, Willie Nelson, Alvin Crow, Marsha Ball and the Misery Brothers (Freida and the Firedogs), Alvin Crow, Moe Bandy, Jerry Jeff (Drunk) Walker, etc. etc. Everybody was a dollar a head and the Armadillo World Headquaters sold beer for (price freeze) 1.25 a pitcher. Boy those days are gone, and a lot of the musicians are also.... best Jay

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    1. The cheap beer and great music sound like a lot of fun. I saw The Kinks and Deep Purple back in the day for less than 15 dollars.

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  7. Don't be fooled gents the American elite and the nazis have been in business for decades , they still are and remember the nazis were the one who partitioned the technology out to Russia and the United States after ww2 that way they have maximum political maneuvering on both sides, this has been the German strategy since Frederick the great

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    1. We live in a tangled world. I'm just making it day to day.

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  8. "Things are going from bad to worse in the Ukraine. Russian separatists are causing an ass-load of trouble. But I don't know what Obama is supposed to do about it. The whole mess is a European problem."

    i don't see it that way. this is provocation from the west for another 'regime change'. one theatre to another, we'll get our war on, thru false flags and/or global intrigue. check out that the u.s. has invested $5bn to tip over another democraticallly elected govt in the name of 'peace and democracy'. this is about ringing in russia and china with missile bases on or near their borders.

    http://www.informationclearinghouse.info/article37599.htm

    http://www.politifact.com/punditfact/statements/2014/mar/19/facebook-posts/united-states-spent-5-billion-ukraine-anti-governm/

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    1. The powers-that-be are looked for American hegemony. But who can afford it? I'd rather let Europe foot the bill as world police.

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Thanks for stopping by. Smith.