Sunday, April 27, 2014


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(I'm no Tim Olyphant.)

Yesterday, the Dragon Lady made beef and French fries for dinner.  It wasn't her best effort.  In fact, the meal completely sucked ass.  But I didn't complain.  I just smiled and ate my vittles.  I'm wonderful that way.  Poor old Smith's a true optimist.  Some have even described me as a breath of fresh air.  And who am I to disagree?

I downloaded several episodes of Justified.  I'm a big fan of Tim Olyphant.  We're the same age.  Sadly, that's all we have in common.  He's handsome and covered with muscles.  Smith, on the other hand, is a pasty, doughy, toothless hillbilly.  Life's not fair.  Yet things could be far worse.  For instance, I'm thankful that I wasn't born in the Republic of Chad.  Those poor bastards are royally screwed.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  No big surprise.  I refuse to babble like a deluded pagan.  I begged Jesus to turn James-uh into a better student.  I'm tired of listening to his mother bitch all the time about his terrible study habits.

I went to bed at 2 a.m.  I had a strange nightmare.  A beautiful actress took a giant shit on a bed.  Everybody complained about the smell.  The crew wanted me to clean up the mess.  But I refused.  I was promptly fired from the job.

I woke up at 8 a.m. and drank several cups of coffee.  Then I read the newspaper while enjoying a bathroom break.  Baseball is becoming very popular in the ROK.  The country has its own professional league.  So far, over one million fans have attended the games this season.  This high attendance is breaking all kinds of records.  I've never been.  Perhaps I should take James-uh.  He could use a break from algebra.

I turned on Fox News.  The owner of the Los Angeles Clippers is a racist.  His attractive young girlfriend dropped a dime on him.  She recorded a private phone conversation and handed the tape to the press.  What a worthless slut.  I say a lot of stuff that could get me in trouble.  It's important to find a woman you can trust.

Anyway, it's time for the song du jour.  Here's Angie by The Rolling Stones.  God bless.     


  1. Could the dream represent your problems with James-uh, the algebra and your wife? She's the beautiful actress (you haven't mentioned how you perceive her physical attractiveness, but because you don't believe yourself to be good-looking, perhaps you consider her to have a higher sexual value than you.) Beds in dreams often represent sex, or the products of it. You often write about the conflict over James' math grades, which indicates it's a major concern in your life. That could be symbolised as the gigantic shit. There seems to be a lot of pressure on you to clean up the mess and make James do better at algebra. You have not gone along with all your wife's desires to be harsh on the lad. I gather that you're insecure about your standing in a lot of ways, as a foreigner living in your wife's country, in proximity to her family and not yours. (To say nothing about whatever job-related insecurities you might have.) The feeling that you might get sacked, divorced or deported, could be what's symbolised in the "firing" angle of the dream.

    Only you can say for sure, Mr. Smith. A monkey like me, screeching from the peanut gallery, offers only half-baked speculation. Try and tap into the emotions you feel associated with the dream, to see if any of that seems valid. Dreams seem to stem from the limbic part of the brain, the emotional centre, not the coldly analytical frontal cortex. The trouble with dream-emotions is that they are recorded in shorter-lived neurotransmitter chemicals, kinda like flash memory on a computer, not input to the longer-term memory cells. When those emotional neurotransmitters degrade and fade, which happens quickly after you wake up, the emotional impact dissolves and it's hard to get in touch with what your subconscious was trying to tell you.

    1. I don't know much about dreams. I just know that recording them has become my new hobby. I'm THAT starved for entertainment.


Thanks for stopping by. Smith.