(Even Liberace thinks I'm a fag.)
Yesterday, I had pork and French fries for dinner. The meal wasn't very good. But I didn't complain. I just smiled and ate my vittles. I'm wonderful that way. Poor old Smith is an eternal optimist. My friends call me Chuckles.
I washed it all down with several tall glasses of Coke. Then I swallowed some medicine. I have a terrible cold. I feel absolutely miserable. Perhaps I've contracted the Ebola virus. Nothing would surprise me at this point.
I downloaded another episode of Reign. Yes, I know. Even Liberace thinks I'm a fag. But I'm addicted to the series. I just can't help myself. Queen Mary is still betrothed to Sebastian, the French king's handsome bastard. Meanwhile, Nostradamus is languishing in a dungeon awaiting torture after being falsely accused of adultery. Now, if that isn't first-rate entertainment, I'll kiss your ass.
I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. It's not like I'm some filthy atheist. I begged Jesus to help the Dragon Lady. The woman is truly a forsaken pagan who struggles daily with anger issues. I've been waiting patiently, but she refuses to change.
I went to bed at 10 p.m. I had a strange nightmare about driving down a treacherous mountain road. After that, I was fishing in the dark on a deserted beach. I have no idea what this dream means. But I do know one thing for sure. Even my demons have demons.
I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank several cups of coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. Kim Jong-un is threatening to destroy America. Good luck with that. He has no idea how powerful my nation actually is. Just ask the 300,000 dead Chinese who were mowed down during the Korean War. Paper tiger? I think not.
I turned on Fox News. The Five were discussing how poorly Muslims treat their women. I have no love for the rag-heads. Islam remains stuck in the 7th century. Furthermore, those towel-headed idiots will end up killing us all. But what do I know?
Anyway, it's time for the song du jour. Here's Gone, Gone, Gone by Bad Company. God bless.