(My retarded son is driving me toward ritual suicide.)
Yesterday, the Dragon Lady worked late. So I had to make dinner for the family. I prepared spicy pork and white rice. The meal was fantastic. My culinary skills are becoming more and more advanced. I washed the vittles down with several glasses of Coke. I'm a maniac when it comes to sugary soft drinks. I simply can't get enough.
I fear my eldest son James-uh could very well be retarded. He failed his latest math test with a score of 55 percent. Talk about disappointing. Last night, we studied basic algebraic equations together for nearly five hours. It was a real angry father and son bitch-fest. On several occasions, I had the urge to snap his neck.
Why so long? He has a test today, and the little bastard was woefully unprepared. He never opens his book. James-uh is ranked the lowest in his entire class. His poor grades are filling me with a sense of shame. If the problems persist, I might be forced to cut my belly open like a war-weary Japanese soldier.
I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. After all, I'm not some filthy nihilist. I begged Jesus to grant me the gift of patience. Stress is killing me.
I went to bed at midnight. I had a dream about being in a boat with my dead father. We drove through a narrow bayou going full-throttle. The bayou eventually led us into the Gulf of Mexico. After that, we crashed and drowned. The end.
I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank several cups of coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. The Indiana Pacers are the top seed in the Eastern Conference. It makes no matter. The team went flat at the wrong time of year. Miami will kick Pacer ass once again.
I turned on Fox News. The Five talked about tax day. They bemoaned the fact that poor people aren't required to give their money to the federal government. The rich often demonize those of modest means. By blaming poverty on laziness rather than greed, they get to sleep better at night.
Anyway, it's time for the song du jour. Here's Roll Me Away by Bob Segar. God bless.