(From Dusk Till Dawn is a new series from Netflix.)
Yesterday, I walked five miles to church. No big deal. I try to exercise at least once a week. I'm getting flabby. Poor old Smith is married to an Asian shrew. So I don't really fear death.
Nevertheless, I need to make it another twenty years for the sake of the children. After that, I'll probably expire from a painful case of ass cancer. The disease runs in my family. And good riddance. I could certainly use the rest.
Church was pretty much the same old dog and pony show. We sang for thirty minutes while clapping our hands. Meanwhile, one of the crazy Nigerians who attends the weekly service howled like a banshee and started speaking in tongues. Say what you want. But that African always keeps me entertained.
Then we had a special treat. A former reprobate shared his testimony. This gentleman used to smuggle hard drugs into various countries. He also had coitus with over seventy women. The guy's a stud.
His most egregious felonies, however, were the acts of violence he committed against numerous law-abiding citizens. He was a real predatory head-cracker. But luckily he found Jesus and turned his life around. These days, he's a pussy cat. Good for him. Christ's blood is both healing and transformational.
I took the family to McDonald's. I enjoyed a Big Mac and two large orders of French fries. The salt, sugar, and starch sent me straight to heaven. I love junk food. I washed my vittles down with a large glass of Coke. Carbonated beverages fill me with joy.
I downloaded From Dusk Till Dawn. It's a Netflix original series. The show is very entertaining. The protagonists are bank robbers on their way to Mexico. They have plans to retire in a mythical Mexican town called El Ray.
The concept of El Ray is actually taken from a Jim Thompson novel. Trust me. You wouldn't want to end your days there. The show stars Robert Patrick. He was great in The Terminator.
I went to bed at 10 p.m. I didn't dream. I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank several cups of coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. A woman in the Ukraine claims she had sex with a ghost. She went on to say that the experience was quite pleasant.
I turned on Fox News. Benghazi continues to garner headlines. Congress is setting up a special committee to look into the matter further. We need to leave the towel-heads alone. Too many Americans have spilled too much blood for these loons already. Let's cut our losses.
Anyway, it's time for the song du jour. Here's Run to the Hills by Iron Maiden. God bless.