Thursday, May 1, 2014

Thursday

(The filthy idolaters at ZeroHedge often wish me dead.)

Yesterday, the Dragon Lady served spicy pork and white rice for dinner.  The meal was good.  In fact, the meat was so hot that it literally burned my lips.  I enjoyed the pain.  I washed the vittles down with several glasses of Coke.  Sugar is my drug of choice.  That sweet white powder makes my heart sing like a bird.

James-uh and his friends got into trouble at school.  They took an entire bag of Twizzlers from one of their fellow students and consumed all the candy.  Yes.  No need to tell me.  My eldest son is now a dirty thief along with being a complete bird-brain.  Some days, I just want to cry.  I held him against the wall of our concrete Soviet-style apartment and threatened to punch him on the nose.  Later, I gave him some money to replace the pilfered liquorice.

I watched another episode of The Following.  Ryan's learning that Joe's network is very extensive.  Joe's a terrible writer.  Even worse than me.  Yet he's surrounded by sycophants who will gladly spill blood at his behest.  Poor old Smith, on the other hand, is reviled by the idolaters at ZeroHedge.  Many wish him dead.  Go figure.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  No big surprise.  It's not like I'm some filthy atheist.  I begged Jesus to keep my wayward boy out of prison.  Larceny starts with Twizzlers.  But it seldom stops there.  Next, he'll be boosting BMWs.

I went to bed at 10 p.m.  I had a nightmare concerning my favorite bar in America.  I ordered a Long Island Ice Tea.  However, I didn't have any Yankee dollars to pay the girl, and the establishment wouldn't accept Korean won.  So the manager threw me out.  My dreams always suck giant ass.

I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank several cups of coffee.  Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break.  A popular website on the peninsula is demanding the resignation of President Park due to the ferry accident which claimed three hundred lives.  I'm a dirty foreign devil.  Therefore, I stay as far away as possible from Korean politics.

I turned on Fox News.  The state of Oklahoma royally botched an execution.  It took the inmate nearly an hour to die.  He eventually expired from the effects of a heart attack.  The Five didn't seem to mind.  They believe in an eye for an eye.  I'm against the death penalty.  I'm also against abortion.  I'm probably just a giant pussy.

Anyway, it's time for the song of the day.  Here's Keeping Up With the Jonesin by Jamey Johnson.  God bless.    

13 comments:

  1. Tits and ass, baby. Tits and ass.

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  2. Replies
    1. I don't understand the question.

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  3. I like your style. Welcome to zerohedge.

    buzzsaw99

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    Replies
    1. Thanks for the welcome.

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    2. Hey, Buzzsaw, with the Kuato avatar from that horror movie, was an online friend of mine. I see his pithy sayings on ZH from time to time, when I wade into the "I'm a Libertarian who hates everyone" cesspool that is the comment section there. He's had several blogs, the most recent one being named "Dung Heap." He's more scatological than you ever were with FLB, and has a wicked-er wit. The dude's a rapier, Smith. He can appreciate the humour you have with your site.

      Delete
  4. Tits and Ass? Are you an idiot?

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    Replies
    1. I don't understand the question. But I suppose I am an idiot. In my own way.

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    2. You have dreams in which everyone hates you, but you "tits and ass" it up on ZH, inviting abuse. Do you ever analyse why you have that sort of masochistic streak, Mr. Smith? Negative attention is better than no attention at all?

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    3. I'm really not qualified to analyze myself. I'm far too complicated. I need a team of doctors working around the clock to solve my issues.

      Delete
  5. You are great comic relief .... I thought I was, too .... but, liberals don't have any sense of humour ! Monedas 1929 Comedy Jihad World Tour

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Thanks for stopping by. Smith.