Wednesday, May 14, 2014


(Salem is creepy.)
Yesterday, the Dragon Lady worked late.  So I cooked dinner for me and the kids.  I prepared pork and French fries.  The Smith family consumes a great deal of pig.  We'd never make it as Muslims.  I washed my vittles down with several glasses of cola.  We no longer drink actual Coke.  We're currently saving our pennies and going strictly generic.

My eldest son James-uh pissed me off yet again.  Thirteen is a terrible age.  He started dancing on the coffee table while waving his plastic light sabre to and fro.  I asked him to stop.  But he didn't listen.  He ended up destroying one of Bluce's Lego toys.  Bluce cried and cried and cried.  Sometimes, I wish a giant meteor would strike Earth.  I could use the rest.

I downloaded the latest episode of Salem.  The show is very entertaining.  An exorcism is performed on one of the girls.  Her father cuts her open with a knife and a large black snake slides out of her belly.  The leader of the witches is named Sybil.  She's married to a Puritan and tortures him daily.  Good stuff.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  No big surprise.  It's not like I'm some filthy atheist. I asked Jesus for the gift of patience.  My kids are driving me up the wall.  But I guess that comes with fatherhood.  At least we're physically healthy.

I went to bed at 10 p.m.  I had another strange nightmare about human excrement.  I walked into my Soviet-style concrete tenement and found a steaming pile of shit lying on the living room floor. I blamed the mess on our rowdy neighbors.  My wife, however, refused to believe me.

I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank several cups of coffee.  Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break.  Manchester City finished on top of the English Premiere League.  The squad is owned by rich Arabs.  I'm deeply disappointed.  I was pulling for Liverpool.

I turned on Fox News.  The Five discussed American universities.  They believe that many institutions of higher learning have been taken over by communists.  I'm inclined to agree.  The problem with extreme liberalism is that one must follow the party line or be branded a bigoted idiot.

Anyway, it's time for the song du jour.  Here's I Am a Highway by Audioslave.  God bless.    


  1. Mr. Smith,

    Thanks a lot for your blog posts, especially over the last couple of weeks. Including your dreams is a worthy addition.

    Getting my 2 kids to do their schoolwork and practice their outside activities (sports, music, etc.) is a continuous battle. As a parent, I'm constantly working at it to try to "get in shape" to be more pressing and consistent. It could take every waking minute of my life if I had the time.

    The video game stuff is just one arena of the battle. On top of that, they immerse themselves in YouTube videos where they watch people playing the games and commenting on it. Yikes.

    Hang in there,
    Steve in Topeka

  2. Love your blog, don't know why so many haters at the zeroh ranch. You really piss them off. I'll give you some greens to boot.

    1. Thanks. I need all the green I can get.

  3. If you need some green, I will join Anonymous above in planting some green at the void ranch. You could also put out a Bitcoin wallet there if the green you would need is for the family.

    Re the ranch, haters are going to hate, but they may lose something very important along the way.

    1. Give me some green rep. I could use it.


Thanks for stopping by. Smith.