Sunday, July 20, 2014


(Don't waste your time with this turkey.)

Yesterday, I took my family to the movies.  We saw The Planet of the Apes.  I hated the film.  I just don't give a flying screw about animals.  Poor old Smith is no liberal tree-hugger.  Humans were granted dominion over the animals by God, Himself.  So I applauded every time a monkey was greased by a man-made high-powered rifle.  The Children of the Rice were not amused by my antics.  They said I was embarrassing them.  But those boys are soft. 

We walked back to our Soviet-style concrete apartment.  I yelled at my sons.  They were playing with a ball on the sidewalk.  However, traffic is crazy here on the peninsula.  I was afraid they might get crushed by a car.  Koreans are the worst drivers in the universe.  If I were King of the World, I'd immediately confiscate their automobiles and give each family a horse and buggy.  So let it be written, so let it be done.

We ate barbecue pork for dinner at a local restaurant.  It was good.  The meat came from the ribs of an unfortunate pig.  The meal is called taegi-kalbi.  Most foreigners love the kalbi experience.  My wife also ordered some type of noxious soup which smelled like ass.  It reeked so much so that I nearly vomited.  Asian food isn't for pussies.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  No big surprise.  I'm not some filthy misanthrope.  I give honor to my creator.  Furthermore, I do my best to treat his most prized creation with both love and respect.  Sadly, I often fall short.  Perhaps I'm a reprobate. 

I went to sleep at 10 p.m.  I had a strange dream.  The Children of the Rice were causing havoc in a restaurant.  They refused to listen to their father's instruction.  All the customers glared at me angrily--including Ms. Johnson, my former tenth grade English teacher. Back in the day, she was a strict joyless lesbian who constantly yelled at the students.  Her favorite hobby?  Giving assholes like me detentions.  Oh well.  It's all water under the bridge.

I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank several cups of coffee.  Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break.  A commander in the ROK Navy is in a heap of trouble for sexual harassment.  He got steaming drunk and patted a couple of his female subordinates on their asses.  They reported him the next morning.  The government has decided to prosecute the disgraced officer criminally.

I turned on Fox News.  The Israeli Army is launching a ground assault in the Gaza Strip.  Pro-Palestinian protests are now occurring around the globe.  I stand firm with Israel.  Islam will end up being the death of us all.  The religion attracts radicals, perverts, and knuckle-draggers who love tyranny and despise democracy.  Therefore, I'll never choose a Muslim over a Jew.

Anyway, it's time for the song du jour.  Here's Africa by Toto.  God bless.


  1. Welcome back Smith, I hope that an Internet burp does not make me duplicate my comment.

    Children are children, and need love (inc. patience) as well as guidance. Wisdom = intelligence + love.

    Re our enemies, it is very hard to love them (as we should), but easier to pray for them. It is certainly easier for me to SAY these things, than for me to DO them. I now try to work on cleaning "my side of the street", as that is hard enough, and who gives me the right to act out against anyone... Hate and other evil thought are things I have to deal with every day, and progress towards the Light is slow. Especially for me.

    God Bless. We all need it.

  2. Thanks. It's good to be back.

    How's Latin America handling the German victory?

    Are the folks disappointed?

    Anyway, talk to you later.

    1. Brazil & Argentina hate each other (in soccer). I heard that in Brazil, they were mostly for Germany. Once the Americans, Italians and English were eliminated, we lost interest here (Peru never made it to Brazil -- maybe in four years?).

      Answering your questions, yeah, LatAm is dealing with it, most of them are not wild about Argentina ("the France of LatAm") nor Brazil (Portuguese speakers).

    2. I'm one of the few Americans who actually likes soccer. But I try to keep this info a secret. Peace.

  3. Howdy Smith. Pardon the anonymity but I wanted to get you this link. It's 3 Korean women who call themselves The Barberettes. They do know how to do it:

  4. Ah, so you're back. And you've learnt to spell "bitchez" correctly...

    1. It's good to be back. A man needs a hobby.

  5. I'll bet Ms Johnson needs therapy after reading your blog. Robertm thank you for the clue that let me know Smith was back... best Jay

    1. She probably died of old age. None of us are getting any younger.


Thanks for stopping by. Smith.