Friday, August 1, 2014

Friday

(Everett Teaford used to be a Kansas City Royal.)

Yesterday, the Dragon Lady served pork and French-fries for dinner.  The meal was delicious.  The Smith family eats a lot of pig. I'm a broke dead dick, so beef is a little too far out of our price range.  I washed the vittles down with several glasses of generic cola.  Carbonated beverages bring me much happiness.  I was in heaven.

I watched the Samsung Lions on the tube.  They hosted the LG Twins in the city of Daegu.  The starting pitcher for the Twins was a white man named Everett Teaford.  Everett used to play for the Kansas City Royals.  He got spanked hard.  Samsung won the game 8-4.  Mr. Teaford makes $500,000 a year.  Not bad.  I bet he can afford decent toilet paper.  Lucky bastard.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees.  No big surprise.  I'm not some dirty misanthrope.  I asked Jesus to heal my wife from her lunacy.  She's filled to the brim with Asian stress.  Sadly, she has to accept the fact that her children will never teach physics at MIT.  That type of academic success simply isn't in the cards.  Time to move on.

I went to bed at midnight.  I had another nightmare concerning the housing projects in New Orleans.  I was running through a parking lot, and it looked as if I might actually escape.  However, a group of large black men spotted me just before I could hail a cab. They proceeded to beat me to pulp.  When it comes to dreaming, I'm the king of bad luck.

I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank several cups of coffee.  Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break.  Bush 43 is writing an autobiography about Bush 41.  The first Bush was a wolf in sheep's clothing.  He had a chance to overturn Roe v. Wade.  Instead, he selected Justice David Souter for the Supreme Court in order to maintain the status quo.  Asshole.

I turned on Fox News.  Bill O'Reilly's still badmouthing Jessie Ventura even though the former governor won his court case.  Bill claims that Jesse's broke and unemployable.  In other words, Ventura's extorting money from Kyle's widow out of sheer financial desperation. O'Reilly's shameless.  He's the journalist who gave the navy sniper a platform to spew his lies without vetting the sources or allowing for rebuttal.

Anyway, it's time to don our tinfoil hats.  Here's Max Keiser discussing financial Armageddon with Mitch Feierstein.  God Bless.

6 comments:

  1. Hey Mr. Smith, I've got a fun conspiracy theory for you: the Malaysian plane that was shot down over Ukraine is actually the SAME aircraft that was known as MH 370 when it disappeared. It was stored somewhere, filled with the dead bodies of the people who were onboard MH 370, and used as a deliberate provocation for some nefarious purposes against Russia.

    Not that I believe any of that crap, of course. But it's the most outre theory I've heard thus far about the episode. One of the main reasons I read ZH comments (along with looking for little gold nuggets amongst the turdcomments such as your subtle blog-flogging efforts) is to stay abreast of the latest conspiracy theories from the "The Moon Landing Was A Fake!" crowd. It gives me cred with the paranoid schizos on the ward when they pop out some outlandish idea and I can say "Oh yeah, I heard that one. What do you think of THIS angle about it?" I don't say I believe whatever rubbish they're on about, because it's not considered therapeutic to endorse delusional thinking. But I will discuss it, as a way of sussing out their mental state. It makes the schizos feel more accepted when they find someone from the reality based world who knows a bit about their schtick. Helps defuse their agitation/anxiety about being misunderstood, and also makes it less likely that I'll get hit if they wig out. Nobody wants to pop the nice nurse who they were chatting to about the Illuminati drinking human blood from babies skulls at those Bilderberg conclaves.

    This latest theory was passed along, mostly tongue-in-cheek, at a Meet-up.org chin-wag set up by a guy who wanted to talk about stories that the mainstream media don't cover. I was intrigued because his Meet-up profile said he reads ZeroHedge. I have met almost NO ONE in real life who's heard of the site, and whenever I run into someone who's focused on finances, I always ask. He was a smart bloke, as were the other three people who showed up. They've all lived some interesting lives in various countries. The people I find most fascinating to hear from are those who have lived in other places besides where they were born, which is one of the reasons I keep reading you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for your continued support, Bukko.

      I'm half a nut myself. I love Alex Jones. And I do believe that the world is controlled by satanic maniacs.

      Perhaps one day I'll be admitted to your mental hospital, and we can have a face-to-face talk. Stranger things have happened.

      All the best,

      Smith

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    2. To Bukko,

      I accidentally erased your comment. Sorry.

      Delete
    3. I will say this. Sometimes, I badmouth my wife and psycho-analyze her actions. But we've been together for a long long time. True. I don't like the way she harasses the children about studying and grades. However, this is Asia. All the mothers are nuts about academics. Asian and western cultures are completely different. Therefore, my marriage is often a delicate balancing act.

      Delete
    4. Prolly for the best with that erasure. I did not reflect charitably upon your wife. If you glommed the gist of it, that is sufficient. The message was not for your hundreds of thousands of loyal readers, just for your suffering mind.

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    5. In all fairness to my wife, I'm no prize catch, either. I literally do nothing around the house. I don't cook. I don't clean. I don't do laundry. I don't help with the shopping. Etc. I work the woman to the bone. But that's just the way I roll. Cheers.

      Delete

Thanks for stopping by. Smith.