(The exorcist gave me his advice.)
Yesterday, I took my eldest son to a restaurant. We ate fifteen dollars worth of fried chicken. James-uh didn't complain. Usually, he hates to go. I washed the meal down with a pitcher of Cass beer. Cass is my favorite brand. The experience was heavenly.
I played some music. I shook my flabby ass while listening to the Bee Gees. For a moment, I felt great. Poor old Smith was back in the seventies. Life was full of hope and good times. Then I remembered my rotting teeth and jiggling man-tits. Suddenly, I had the urge to cry like a woman. I held back the tears. I'm quite macho.
The exorcist called me on my cell phone. He said that my wife has a lot of emotional problems. He advised me to change the locks on my door. No shit. He also said to stop giving her money. According to him, I should cut her off completely. Perhaps he's right. Her anger is so intense that she might very well burn my important documents just for fun.
I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I asked Jesus for a little help. These have been some trying times. I've never known a woman to completely reject her firstborn son. I've seen it on the Jerry Springer Show, but never in real life.
I woke up at 7 a.m. and turned on my laptop. Connecticut is in the process of abolishing the death penalty. I'm not sure how I feel about this decision. Some people are so bad that they deserve to be burned at the stake. Yet the legal system does make mistakes from time to time. I'd hate to see an innocent man reduced to ashes.
I read the paper later in the day. A woman in Seoul got angry at her husband. She lured him to a used-car lot. Then she and five of her friends beat him with baseball bats. It took the victim two weeks to recover from his injuries. Sometimes, it's just better to walk away from an abusive relationship.
Anyway, it's time for the song du jour. Here's Big Balls by AC/DC. God bless.