Monday, November 30, 2015

Monday

(Youssif Omar is another peace loving Muslim.)

Yesterday, the Dragon Lady took me to a restaurant.  We ate tortured shrimp for dinner.  The poor little beasts were peeled alive.  In fact, they were still jumping on the plate as they were brought to our table.  After that, the smiling waitress snipped their tiny heads off with a pair of scissors.  The heads were fried, and the bodies were eaten raw.  Tortured shrimp is surprisingly tasty.

I watched the UFC.  The event was held in Seoul, but I didn't attend in person.  The tickets were quite pricey, and I'm a broke dead dick.  So I had to be content viewing the action from home.  Benson Henderson was featured in the main event.  He won a split decision over his opponent.  However, I found his performance to be quite lackluster. Benson's a bit out sized at 170 pounds.

I went to bed at 10 p.m.  I had a strange dream.  I was attacked by a very large feral cat.  Former UFC light heavyweight champion Jon "Bones" Jones saved my life by shooting the crazy animal in the head.  His girlfriend then offered to have sex with me.  Being a gentleman, I refused on principle.

I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank a cup of coffee.  Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break.  Korea's jails are getting a little crowed.  Therefore, the powers-that-be will start granting more early releases for non-violent offenders.  A lot of business men are currently in the slammer.  The peninsula seems to be filled with white-collar corruption.

I turned on my laptop.  A man named Youssif Omar works at the University of Missouri as a graduate assistant.  He saw his fourteen-year-old niece walking around her high school without a head-scarf.  Mr. Omar went nuts.  He grabbed the girl by the hair and dragged her down a flight of stairs.  This story certainly isn't a big surprise.  Water is wet, and Muslims are crazy. Mark my words. Islam will end up being the death of us all.

Anyway, it's time for the song du jour.  Here's In the Navy by The Village People.  God bless. 

No comments:

Post a Comment

Thanks for stopping by. Smith.