Wednesday, December 2, 2015

Wednesday

(Toys For Tots hero kicked out of Walmart.)

Yesterday, I prepared chicken and French fries for the boys. I baked the chicken in a little toaster oven.  Then I cooked the fries in my glorious Phillips air-fryer.  They came out all crisp and salty and warm.  My children loved the meal.  Poultry's my speciality.  The Dragon Lady returned at 8 p.m. carrying a big bag filled with Dunkin Donuts.  A good time was had by all.

I watched a recent episode of Ash vs. Evil Dead.  A demon from hell takes over the body of the cute little Jewish girl.  She tries to kill Ash and his Mexican friend.  Of course, the protagonist and his trusty sidekick manage to survive.  However, one of the good guys does get impaled upon a large stick.  Blood squirts everywhere.  I give Ash vs. Evil Dead a big thumbs up.  The series is a lot of fun.

I paid homage to the Christ God.  I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise.  I'm not some filthy nihilist.  I asked Jesus to protect the Dragon Lady.  Lately, my wife's been very calm.  She no longer seems a slave to the bad chemicals in her brain.  But my placid home life could end at any moment.  The woman was cursed with the worst temper that I've ever seen.  One day, she might actually kill me.  Oh well.  What's a boy to do?

I went to bed at 10 p.m.  I had a dream about going to the beach.  I had to ascend a long elevator to get to the sand.  After that, I was kicked out of a sporting goods store for spilling Gatorade on the floor.  My nightmares are never ending.  I should probably start drinking again in order to take the edge off.

I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank some freshly brewed coffee.  Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break.  Many female defectors from North Korea are turning to prostitution in order to gain financial success.  They're tired of working as waitresses.  A middle aged prostitute on the peninsula can makes $6,000 a month.  Waitresses, on the other hand, usually only earn $1,300.

I turned on my laptop.  John Harkness is a 69-year-old military veteran.  He served for over twenty years in the Marines.  Now he enjoys participating in the Toys For Tots program.  Walmart made poor old Mr. Harkness stand outside in 8 degree weather to collect gifts for the needy.  The giant retailer didn't want to offend its customers by being too festive.  What happened to America?  Have we really become this stupid?

Anyway, it's time for the song du jour.  Here's Daddy by Psy.  God bless.

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