(I always give the fags, lezbos, and lady-boys a pass.)
Yesterday, I cooked chicken for dinner. I fried the bird using liberal amounts of salt and grease. I'm the king of poultry. The meal was absolutely delicious. My son cleaned his plate with a smile on his face and a song in his heart. I washed the vittles down with water. I wasn't in the mood for alcohol.
I watched Mad Men. I'm currently on season six. It's a great series. All the critics love it. And I can see why. Don's currently porking his neighbor. The poor man has a tough time keeping his pants on. Unfortunately, his daughter Sally catches him in the middle of coitus. She runs away crying. Meanwhile, Roger continues to drink and drop acid. Roger's one of the funniest characters in the history of television.
I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some filthy misanthrope. I thanked the Savior for all my blessings. My life might not be perfect, but things could be much worse. I'm just thankful that I wasn't born in Djibouti.
I went to bed at 10 p.m. I dreamed that I was in Alaska drinking and smoking in a tavern. I had to catch a train. I asked all the customers for a drive to the station because I feared I would miss an important meeting.
I woke up at six a.m. and drank a cup of instant coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. Dear Abby was interesting. A young woman finds out that her BFF wants to be a man. She considers the concept strange and fears that her buddy is walking on dangerous ground. Sex is a weird thing. I always give the fags, lezbos, and lady-boys a pass. Who am I to judge? After all, my demons have demons.
I turned on CNN. There was a school shooting in Canada. Four people were killed. I know lots of Canadians. They're always up my ass about violence in America. But these problems are global. The world's filled with loons, and we all have one foot in the grave. So what's a boy to do?
Anyway, I've shot my load. So long for now, and God bless everybody.