Monday, March 28, 2016

Monday

(The religion of peace strikes again.)

Yesterday, I took my eldest son to a restaurant. We enjoyed two large pepperoni pizzas. The meal cost $32. I'm not a huge fan of pizza because I hate cheese. I have to scrape it off. But it was Easter, and my kid is tired of chicken. So what's a daddy to do? I washed the vittles down with several large glasses of generic cola. I'm a broke dead dick. Therefore, I can't afford the good stuff.

I watched the latest episode of Vikings. Ragnar leads his men back to France. They terrorize the nation, killing many innocent people. Four French soldiers are burned alive by Floki and his new buddies. They piss on the victims to add insult to injury. Meanwhile, Rollo remains a big-shot in Paris. He's protecting the king against the barbarian onslaught.

I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some filthy heathen. I thanked The Savior for my many blessings. My children are healthy and reasonably intelligent. Plus we can occasionally afford to eat beef. Things could be a lot worse. I'm just glad that I wasn't born in The Congo.

I went to bed at 10 p.m. I had a dream concerning my youngest son Bluce. I thought he was suffering from OCD, so I took him to a hospital. The doctor explained that he was actually afflicted with autism. I couldn't believe my ears.

I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank a cup of instant coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. Koreans who decide to get divorced must go through a mandatory class on child abuse. Dead kids keep turning up all over the peninsula. Therefore, the government's trying to avoid more tragic murders.

I turned on CNN. Sixty-nine Christians were killed in Lahore, Pakistan. The religion of peace struck yet again. Most of the victims were women and children who were at a park celebrating Easter Sunday. Islam is a terrible cancer. These lunatics will be the death of us all.

Anyway, I've shot my load. So long for now, and God bless everybody.

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