Wednesday, April 6, 2016

Wednesday

(Samsung looks like shit this year.)

Yesterday, I made chicken for dinner. I cooked the bird using liberal amounts of salt and grease. It tasted wonderful. My eldest boy ate every morsel on his plate. I remain the king of poultry. I washed the vittles down with two bottles of Jinro soju and a big glass of Cass beer. The experience was heavenly.

I watched professional baseball. The Samsung Lions travelled to Suwon to play the KT Wiz. The Lions got their asses kicked big time. Samsung looks like shit this year. Two of their best hitters left for greener pastures. Plus their entire pitching staff appears nervous and spooked. I might have to switch my allegiance. I'm a fair-weather fan who has no time for losers.

I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some filthy nihilist. I thanked The Savior for my many blessings. The Dragon Lady's taking her medicine, and my boys are healthy. Furthermore, I can afford to occasionally eat beef. Things could be much worse. I'm just glad that I wasn't born in Cambodia.

I went to bed at 10 p.m. I had another strange dream about public defecation. I laid down a deuce right in the middle of a fancy restaurant. My mother promptly scolded me.

I woke up at 5 a.m. and drank a cup of coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. Waitresses in North Korean eateries are being asked by the government to spy on their customers. Constantly looking over your shoulder must be a pain the ass.

I turned on CNN. Today's the Wisconsin primary. Both Bernie Sanders and Ted Cruz are expected to win. The Donald's royally screwed. He'll never make it to 1,237. But Ted Cruz is screwed, too. I predict that Paul Ryan will be the next Republican nominee.

Anyway, I've shot my load. So long for now, and God bless everybody.

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