(Pam Bondi didn't kill anybody.)
Yesterday, I took my family to dinner at a restaurant called Ashley's. The eatery is an American-style buffet decorated in Gone With the Wind movie posters. I ate ribs, shrimp, and crab-fried rice. The food was expensive but delicious. I washed the vittles down with five large glasses of red wine. I was quite shit-faced. I'm not used to vino.
We returned to our Soviet-style concrete apartment. I drank beer and watched television. Anderson Cooper ripped Pam Bondi a new asshole. His tone was very snarky. He seemed to blame Pam for the death of the homosexuals in Orlando because of her stand on gay marriage. I became outraged. The liberals are now pointing their greasy little fingers at good God-fearing Americans. How dare they? And Anderson is talking out of his asshole. It turns out that the murderer was a self-hating Islamic fag. Go figure.
I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some dirty pagan. I thanked The Savior for my many blessings. I have great kids; I'm well-fed; and I have 24-hour access to large amounts of alcoholic beverages. Plus I can occasionally afford beef and sushi. Things could be a lot worse. I'm just glad that I wasn't born in Liberia. I'd never survive.
I went to bed at 10 p.m. I had a dream concerning school. I was worried about failing algebra. Yet I managed to get a B. After that, I celebrated by taking a shit in the corridor as my suprised classmates looked on in horror.
I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. A Korean teenager was arrested for hacking over three thousand websites. I worry about my eldest son. He loves computers almost as much as he loves Anonymous. I hope he's not up to any internet foolishness. Kids don't realize how seriously cyber-crime is taken.
I turned on CNN. Obama yelled at Donald Trump. He doesn't like Donald's stance on Muslim immigration. He also hates being criticized about his foreign policy. The president actually believes that he's doing a good job. He insists that ISIL's on the run and that he doesn't have to use the words Islamic extremism because Muslims are good people. Obama might be the worst president in our nation's history. But it doesn't matter. America's going off a cliff.
Anyway, I've shot my load. So long for now, and God bless everybody.