Wednesday, July 13, 2016

North Korean Diplomats Caught Smuggling Rhino Horns Out of Africa

(Asian men eat powdered rhino horn to improve their erections.)

Yesterday, I took my family to McDonald's. I had a Big Mac and a large order of French fries. The food tasted great. All that starch sent me straight to the moon. I washed the vittles down with a huge glass of genuine Coca-Cola. I'm a broke dead dick, so I usually drink the generic stuff. But sometimes a man has to splurge.

I watched television. A hip-hop artist called Q-Tip claimed that American policemen are inherently racist. A black rapper who doesn't like the fuzz? What a shock. I could barely believe what I was hearing.

In all seriousness, I have some sage advice for my African-American brothers and sisters. Stop breaking the freaking law. Our jails are overcrowded because you people were never taught how to act properly. If you follow the rules, then you won't have to worry about the police. Plain and simple.

I paid homage to the Christ God. I said the Lord's Prayer on bended knees. No big surprise. I'm not some filthy pagan. I asked The Savior to protect my wife. She's still having trouble with her Grave's Disease. Next week, we're going on a short vacation to Taiwan. The last thing I need is a high-pitched crazy bitch harshing my buzz. I haven't been on an international trip in years. I could use some fun.

I went to bed at 10 p.m. I didn't dream. I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Then I read the paper while enjoying a bathroom break. North Korean diplomats were caught smuggling Rhino horns out of Africa. The horns are grinded into powder and consumed by Asian men to improve the quality of their erections. Poaching brings lots of money to North Korea. The nation is strapped for cash.

I turned on CNN. Bernie Sanders has endorsed Hillary Clinton for president. That crap he used to spew about Wall Street and trade didn't amount to a hill of beans. I'm not surprised. Sanders has always been part of the machine. In fact, he's been sucking off the government tit for most of his life. I just hope his backers wake up and smell the coffee. Trump is their best choice.

Anyway, I've shot my load. So long for now, and God bless everybody.

1 comment:

Thanks for stopping by. Smith.